New Quarter Friday

Wisconsin: a cow, a cheese, and an ear of corn. Might be old hat to you, but today I got two of 'em. "Forward," indeed!

Basho would be proud

comics haiku

Language Log

You never know just what you'll find through Fark. A thread about an anti-Hmong bumper sticker contains, deep within, a link to a University of Pennsylvania-based blog about the English language.

Beautiful Day / Amazing

Free Music Monday! Two songs from Beth Sorrentino, of the late, lamented suddenly, tammy!

Christmas is coming!

And Amazon.com has just the thing to help you pass those long winter nights.

"The Criterion Collection Holiday 2004 Gift Set consists of all of their published DVDs through October 2004 (except for the out-of-print editions): that's 241 titles on 282 discs and includes a Certificate of Authenticity." The whole package is a mere $4999 (discounted 33% from the list of $7500).

(6 people recommended Police Academy - The Complete Collection instead of The Criterion Collection Holiday 2004 Gift Set.)

Lord, deliver us from your followers

Josh Marshall notes some recent frothings from the fetid soul of noted right-wing "Christian" James Dobson:

“Homosexuals are not monogamous. They want to destroy the institution of marriage,” Dobson said.

“It will destroy marriage. It will destroy the Earth.”

Black Wednesday

"The people have spoken...the bastards."
- Morris Udall, 1976

"Was Darwin Wrong?"

 
"NO."

- National Geographic, Nov. 2004

I felt it, for once!

NBC 4 - News - Small Earthquake Rattles Los Angeles Area

LOS ANGELES -- A small earthquake rattled areas of West Los Angeles on Saturday but there were no reports of damage or injuries.

The magnitude-2.7 temblor occurred at 9:07 a.m. and was felt from West Hollywood to Culver City, according to the U.S. Geological Survey Web site.

It was centered a mile west-northwest of West Hollywood and three miles north-northeast of Century City.

There were no reports of damage or injuries.

Hideously Strong

A MRJEFF3000 operative dropped by the local Rite-Aid earlier today and came across something too interesting to pass up: Liquorice Altoids.

(Insert licorice flashback here)

The press release gushes:

Reminiscent of its British heritage, Altoids, the Curiously Strong Mints®, is proudly introducing Liquorice Altoids® to their esteemed line of mints. This bittersweet new addition to the celebrated line of mints delivers the same aromatic intensity and authentic flavor expected from Altoids. Available in the ubiquitous reclosable metal box, new Liquorice Altoids will stand apart from the other breath-fresheners with a striking black and gold tin that uses stripes on the face of the lid for the first time.

"Liquorice is an old-world flavor with an enormous following of people with discriminating tastes for powerful and sophisticated flavors," said Brand Director, Altoids. "It makes perfect sense for Altoids to introduce a power mint that is both curiously strong, reminiscent of our British roots and a favorite among liquorice and fresh breath aficionados."

Possibly. I guess this could appeal to that niche market, the one that likes the idea of candy, but wishes it wasn't so darn edible.

Moose on the Loose!

(courtesy Bert and Marie, Anchorage, Alaska)

"Kerry waxed Bush's ass."

The October 8 Bush-Kerry debate, as seen by Wonkette (and Dad Wonkette).

Pearls of wisdom...

The October 8 Bush-Kerry debate, as seen by the dittoheads of Free Republic.

Osama Surprise!

"He let us down."

   The re-election of George W. Bush would be a mandate to continue on our present course of chaos. We cannot afford to double the debt that we already have. We need to be moving in the opposite direction.
   John Kerry has 30 years of experience looking out for the American people and can navigate our country back to prosperity and re-instill in America the dignity she so craves and deserves. He has served us well as a highly decorated Vietnam veteran and has had a successful career as a district attorney, lieutenant governor, and senator.
   Kerry has a positive vision for America, plus the proven intelligence, good sense, and guts to make it happen.
   That’s why The Iconoclast urges Texans not to rate the candidate by his hometown or even his political party, but instead by where he intends to take the country.

   The Crawford, Texas Iconoclast, George W. Bush's hometown newspaper, has endorsed John Kerry for President.

Masterful...(see it now)

So, the other day I'm over at Salon. As you no doubt are aware, they rely on a "day pass" -- a commercial that you have to watch in order to unlock that day's content -- to maintain profitability. This day's sponsor was Olive Films' Notes From Underground. Ordinarily, I ignore the ad until it's over and I can click into the content I really want to see. But for some reason one critic's quote caught my eye:

"Masterful...(see it now) - Matt Langdon, Film Threat

Hey, I thought. I wonder if Matt knows that he's been blurbified. So I dutifully made a screen grab and emailed it to Everyone's Favorite Underrated Movie Critic, and he has helpfully provided the Secret Origin of his quote.

...

Of course, a little attribution would be nice.

This is because I went out to lunch with my staff on the day you dropped by, isn't it? It was Roger's birthday, dammit! What was I supposed to do?

Sartre & Peanuts

Charlie Brown, existentialist.

3hive - sharing the sharing

Many nice indie mp3 downloads linked at 3hive. I know what I'm going to be doing this morning.

Golden Gate Garrison Gallery :: Calkins Wedding - Children's Fairyland Oakland, CA - Aug. 1, 2004

Best. Wedding. Ever.

Not Good.

Okay, bad: SEOUL (Reuters) - A huge explosion rocked an area in North Korea near the border with China three days ago and appeared to be much bigger than a train blast that killed 170 people in April, Yonhap news agency reported on Sunday.

UPDATE: well, at least everyone is saying it's not nuclear...

2 Leias!

LAY, LADY LEIA: Fisher, left, and her stunt double take a sand-dune sunbath aboard a space vehicle during a break on the Yuma, Ariz., location for Return of the Jedi in 1982

(stolen from TIME magazine)

Bad Way to Start the Day

I know I won't be leaving here...

The other morning I heard on KCRW's Morning Becomes Eclectic what I assumed was, due to some sort of rip in the space-time continuum, a cover version of Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out", as performed by Elton John, circa 1972. Later, I found out that it was, in fact, a Scissor Sisters cover of the song, from 2004. No matter. Still good fun.

Fugly, Fugly, Fugly!

Go Fug Yourself is the new Defamer. Or Supermodel Personals. Or something.

Hero?

I saw the new Zhang Limou/Jet Li movie Hero on Saturday. It's certainly one of the most beautiful films I've ever seen. And the acting was quite good, and the fights were spectacular, if overlong and overmany.

But.

At the end the whole film took a decidedly disturbing turn, one which seems to endorse the current Communist regime's brutal repression of dissent in China. Joshua Tanzer, in his review at OFFOFFOFF, also notices this ugly political message.

Plenty of people will just sit back and enjoy the fast-paced action, charismatic actors and lush colors of "Hero," so why get stuck on this one issue? Well, this question about how to respond to pro-fascist film has been around almost as long as film itself — we still debate the merits of the pro-slavery "Birth of a Nation" and the pro-Nazi "Triumph of the Will." (I would even throw in the less overtly pro-Jim Crow "Gone with the Wind.") And the answer is that films help shape our visual, psychological and intellectual instincts, and this is a film that teaches beauty, violence and authoritarianism at once. A beautiful film that exalts killing opponents of the state is a beautiful parchment on which is written, in the most elegant calligraphy, a manifesto for evil.

(hero)


8/31 update: Two readers' letters to salon.com about Salon's review of Hero

...and Jerry Mathers as Robin, the Boy Wonder.

Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin has a rather amazing find: two comics fans' letters, published in JLA #17 (July 1963), casting a hypothetical JLA movie.

---

Dear Editor: I think that the Justice League of America ought to be in the movies. Here are my ideas about who should play who:

     Aquaman - Troy Donahue
     Wonder Woman - Carole Wells (with black wig)
     Flash - Edd Byrnes
     Batman - Vince Edwards
     Green Arrow - Bobby Darin
     Snapper Carr - John Ashley
     Martian Manhunter - Gordon Scott (with make-up)
     Superman - Efrem Zimbalist
     Green Lantern - Roger Smith
     Atom - Michael Landon (with help of trick photography)

Jim Dismukes, 2141, Walz Drive, Savannah Ga.

(How's this for a remarkable coincidence - which really happened, as contrasted to a fictional one that no one would ever believe: in the same mail, we received two letters -- both from Georgia -- suggesting a cast of characters to portray the JLA in the movies! We offer them both for our readers to compare and deliberate over. -- Editor)

***

Dear Editor: I like the JLA so much that you should have them in the movies. Let me know how you feel about my selections:

     Green Lantern - Edd Byrnes
     Flash - Troy Donahue
     Martian Manhunter - Steve Reed
     Wonder Woman - Tuesday Weld
     Green Arrow - ?
     Aquaman - Lloyd Bridges
     Atom - Dean Martin
     Batman - Robert Taylor
     Superman - ?
My original choice for Green Arrow was Clark Gable, but he has since passed on. And I can't think of anyone to replace the late George Reeves in the role of Superman.

Joe B. Allen,
350 Altoona Place, SW, Atlanta 10, Ga.

A Letter to the New York Times

Sir -
In your story, The Boys From "South Park" Go To War I came across the following passage: "His partner, Mr. Stone, glumly agreed: 'We're so dumb.' (Except that he added a four-letter word. Many of their sentences include four-letter words.)" Later, we read, "'We hate both of them,' Mr. Parker confirmed. 'They're both retards. We have to choose between a' — four-letter word — 'sandwich and a' — same four-letter word — 'sandwich.' O.K., so they're not exactly nuanced." And finally, "'It's just a dumb puppet movie.' (Except he added a four-letter word.)"

Which four-letter word do you mean? I do like to consider myself well-versed in most current obscenities, profanities and vulgarities. But the only term I find it likely that Messrs Stone and Parker would have used, in each instance, the adjective form of the legendary "F-word", is seven letters. So I went and checked my copy of The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage. Under the entry for "obscenity, profanity, vulgarity" I read the following:

The Times also forgoes offensive or coy hints. An article should not seem to be saying, "Look, I want to use this word, but they won't let me." Generally that principle rules out telltale strings of hyphens or dashes (The prosecutor is full of ----). Editors may sparingly allow paraphrase of a term, if it truly sheds light on a serious question. But a phrase like the legendary barnyard expletive, ambiguous about the animal to which it alludes, may raise questions as distracting as those it answers.

(You do have a copy, right?)

If there is a new four-letter adjective obscenity, profanity, or vulgarity that the Hollywood in-crowd is using, I think it is the Times's obligation - nay, duty! - to inform the American public.

C'mon, at least give us a hint...

Yours,
MRJEFF3000

PS -- "Blame Canada" was not so much the theme of the South Park series, as it was of the movie, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

Eagle Rock, Topanga State Park

All the cool bloggers hang out at Eagle Rock in Topanga State Park...

Super Special Bonus Secret Extra Credit Questions: Who's that fellow in the white T-shirt in the foreground? And what the heck has he got on his head?

Danny Boy

News from the mysterious East!

It's not often that MRJEFF can do his small part in this whole corrupt networking/logrolling thing, but longtime chum Dan Renkin sends word of recent career doings:

New York, NY: Caucasian Chalk Kurosawa (fight direction) "There are cool sword fights (by Dan Renkin and Brad Lemons), and grade-A nifty plastic-and-fishnet costumes (Virigina Tuller) and a healthy dose of East Village Wierdness."

Bridgeport, CT: Shakespeare at the Zoo - A Midsummer Night's Dream (Nicholas Bottom) "I would be remiss if I did not point out that the entire cast did an outstanding job. Dan Renkin as Nicholas Bottom, the pompous actor who is turned into a donkey, delivers an absolutely hilarious performance. Thanks in large part to his performance, the park not only was filled with exotic sounds and sights, but also with the happiest sound in the world - children's laughter. Every time Bottom hee-hawed or spoke donkinese, children in the audience laughed without reserve."

Boston, MA: As Bees in Honey Drown "Fight choreographers Brad Lemons and Dan Renkin construct a very convincing melee."

monkeyview.net

Random photo sites provide a voyeuristic thrill. Some people are artsy and talented, while some are...well, they have a rawer talent.

(Monkeyview.net)

Brouwerij Henri Maes

Brewery sign, Brugges, Belgium
01 August 2004

The Atomium

Atomium (8/2/04, modified photo)

Statue of Bela Bartok, in Brussels, Belgium

(8/2/04, modified photo)

Meanwhile, in Boston...

PS - all this time I have been pretty well insulated from the news. So, sadly, I have missed all the Dem convention coverage. I really hope C-Span (and/or its website) will continue to make the speeches available.

PPS - it's kind of annoying traveling with a bunch of goddamn red-staters who think that George W. is just the cat's meow, and who interpret an attack on the ability of the man to be president as an attack on the USA and on themselves personally.

In fact, while Europeans are almost universally against the re-election of Bush, there is a very positive attitude toward America and Americans here.

So: Go Kerry! Go USA! Go World!

Still in Europa

Well, we have come to the end of the biking portion of the journey, and are back on the bus. MRJEFF is blogging from Brugge, Belgium right now.

It has been a rough week for your old pal, as he either caught a bit of a bug, or encountered some mild food poisoning. Either way, it's no way to spend one's vacation. Luckily this hasn't kept a trooper like me down and out, at least not both at the same time.

By the way - if this is Europe, where are all the undraped breasts at? You'd think they'd be everywhere, the way this place is advertised.

Anyhoo, that's it for now. More when I get back to the other side of the ocean. Pictures, too.

MRJEFF
Brugges, Belgium
01/08/04 2:09 PM

Overseas with MRJEFF

Greetings from Friesland (Fryslân) from Your Pal MRJEFF. We're on the second day of the Big Bike Ride around the northern Netherlands. Yesterday we were lucky enough to ride for several kilometers in the rain through sheep shit. Today has been sunnier, and the sheep have been confined to areas off the bikepath, so I guess that's better, if perhaps less authentic. Here's hoping my stuff dries out soon!

Oops -- gotta go. Lunch break is almost over, and we have 11 km more, which should be a comparative walk in the park. Of course, Langdon would probably leave me in the dust...

Until next time,
MRJEFF the cyclist
Sloten, the Nethelands
26/07/04 01:41 PM

Downtown

An Inappropriate Comparison

Now then. Is it just me, or does UPS's new logo remind you of Adolph Hitler?




I'm just sayin', is all...

Where's MRJEFF?

Over the next two weeks Your Humble Narrator will be on a trip around his ancestors' homeland.

By bicycle, no less.

One hopes there will be opportunity to Euroblog at some point or another. Sadly, there won't be much about the Democratic Convention. Perhaps another blogger will take up the slack on that.

One also hopes that MRJEFF doesn't fall into a canal and drown. (Be not afraid, Gentle Reader - if this does happen, you can be sure that you'll read about it in this blog, with pictures!)

Bridging the Bay

A fascinating website from UC Berkeley: Bridging the Bay Online Exhibit

Especially interesting is the Unbuilt Projects section, which includes plans for additional bay crossings, alternate visions for the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges, and the incredible Reber Plan, which would have dammed the Bay and created two huge freshwater lakes.

(If you think the Reber Plan would have been a monstrosity, then you don't even want to think about NAWAPA.)

The Smoke from a Distant Fire

The fire started just over the ridge from our home, fortunately on the other side of the 14 freeway, which acted as a firebreak for most of Saturday. The air was a strange Armageddon-like orange colour and one of our neighbours came over to see if we were packing up our valuables yet (we weren't). On Sunday morning the fire was moving away from us and seemed less of a threat so my husband and I went to see friends at Redondo Beach, mostly to get away from the smoke and ash, which is everywhere, the ash piling up in little drifts like snow. While we were sitting on the beach, which is a good 45 miles away we suddenly saw a huge plume of smoke go up in the distance and knew it had to be the fire again.

Susanna Luck, Santa Clarita, USA

Rashomon - The Musical

From the world of the theatre comes news of the upcoming world premiere of R Shomon:

A park. A thief. A priest. A psychic. A murder. A miracle. A lie. The truth. From the composer/librettist of Broadway’s The Wild Party and Marie Christine, comes a world premiere new musical, suggested from the short stories of Ryunosuke Akutagawa, that explores the many facets of reality, faith and love with a contemporary, lush score.

The cast will include Six Feet Under's Michael C. Hall and Tom Wopat.

...


MRJEFF has spoken with several people who have seen rehearsals, but reports of the play's quality, and even its plotline are oddly conflicting...

Thomas Frank in the NYT

Wonderful op-ed by Thomas Frank, Failure Is Not an Option, It's Mandatory in the 7/16 NYT. Why would the right-wingers in Congress put forward a constitutional amendment they knew was doomed to overwhelming failure? "Losing is prima facie evidence that the basic conservative claim is true: that the country is run by liberals; that the world is unfair; that the majority is persecuted by a sinister elite."

Peligro! Abejas!

Your pal MRJEFF learned a new word today: abejas.

...

Abejas?



AHHHHH! BEES!!!

desolation

Iceland: Nökkvi Elíasson photographs deserted farms (and more).

HULK'S DIARY

Everybody Has a Blog, Part XXXII: HULK'S DIARY

Boxer for Senate 2004

You may have heard that your pal MRJEFF recently attended a Barbara Boxer-oriented event chez Rashomon.

The junior senator from California was on C-SPAN this evening, arguing against the "Federal Marriage Amendment". And I have never been prouder of my senator.

ONE WEEK ONLY! Metric: Combat Baby @ iTunes

This week's free iTunes song: Metric's Combat Baby.

Of course, those of you who are still bound to the mp3 format can download this song from Epitonic.

Whichever you choose, MRJEFF recommends most highly!

Police Chase

What fun! Another police chase in Southern California! When your pal MRJEFF first tuned in, the alleged criminal was on southbound on the 5, moving past Dodger Stadium. (Interestingly, due to post-9/11 air traffic rules, the news choppers had to give the stadium a wide berth.)

And now the perp has moved from the westbound 10 to the 405 south toward LAX. And, incidentally, past MRJEFF's Culver City abode. Your Humble Narrator counted four-ish helicopters following, but was unable to see how many ground units were en chasse.

The cameras had to break away due to cloud cover over LAX, but soon resumed pursuit over Inglewood city streets, and then to Redondo Beach, where the suspect abandoned his vehicle, ran through the streets with a gun to his head, and, thankfully, quickly surrendered peacefully. The system works. Local geography lesson complete.

John Derbyshire Sucks (part 17)

My goodness, how I hate John Derbyshire:

Although, back of the smile, there is the dull, sad realisation that our people could never be so clever and devious. I get the same feeling about the War on Terror. Not only does the Devil have all the best tunes, he has the best tricks, too.

See, the problem with us conservatives is, we're too nice. Just don't know how to think dirty.

Hm.

soulbinder: We are living in 1984.*Reaches for Orwel

Here's a clever analysis of one passage from 1984, by some Live Journal-ist.

Designs on the White House T-Shirts

and other t-shirts, at Designs on the White House.

Tres Chicas.org

MP3 of the day: Sweetwater (right-click to save) from Tres Chicas.

The Most Ironic Street Name in Los Angeles

Ferris Wheel / St. Gerard Majella

Ferris wheel, at the carnival at St. Gerard Majella church, on Inglewood near Culver.
Gerard Majella is the patron saint of, among other things, pregnant women and the pro-life movement.

Ronald W. Reagan is Still Dead

Revisit the past! Remember earlier this month when Reagan died and a MRJEFF operative took in the scene down at the funeral home? Other bloggers (1, 2) were also on the prowl, exploiting the national tragedy for their own selfish purposes.

Mayhem at Braddock and Duquesne!

An accident! Excitement in Culver City!


Gosh - I feel like WeeGee!


But am I just exploiting these people's misery?


Well, it's such a nice day today. And I'm sure nobody was hurt, right?

Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peckers

From the Peter-Piper-Picked-a-Peck-of-Pickled-Peckers department:

Here it is, 9:58 Monday morning. Somehow I just know that this is going to set the tone for the entire week.

Another glorious Saturday in the Promised Land.

New Product Review

At the ad agency where MRJEFF works, we were recently dropped off a large supply of herbal beverages from the Carpe Diem beverage consortium, with the suggestion that we avail ourselves of the opportunity to sample the three products Kombucha, Gingkgo, and Kefir.

Kefir, with its fermented elderberry juice base, resembled most closely a cherry or raspberry Tootsie Pop™ (in beverage form). Most of my staff agreed, this was the least nauseating most palatable of the Carpe Diem drinks. It was very thick - the official MRJEFF suggestion is to use this as either a cough syrup, or to drizzle over pancakes. 4/10.

Ginkgo: most of MRJEFF's employees and associates decreed this to be vile and undrinkable. What do they know, these kids these days, with their Britney Spears and their tongue piercings? This one vaguely resembles a somewhat earthy sarsaparilla. Plus, it make MRJEFF mind work...uh...gooder.... 7/10.

Kombucha: I am sure that, in the proper combination, a beverage comprised of Hibiscus Bloom, Rose Hips, Blackberry Leaf, European Elder Bloom, Pepperming Leaf, and Lemon Balm Leave could be non-sucky. But in this combination, it basically tastes like a blackberry candy stick and a mouthful of toothpaste. Plus, it's got Lactobacillus casei ("Culture in LLV agar medium followed by ELISA using monoclonal antibodies specific for LCS was able to detect the organism in faeces. Using this method, we studied the faecal recovery of LCS in individuals who drank 125 ml of fermented milk which contained 10(10) live LCS for 3 days. The mean recovery was about 10(7) live bacteria per gram of faeces, indicating that LCS survived transit through the gastrointestinal tract after ingestion of the fermented milk." WTF?) Nevertheless, 2/10

SPEED

From the We-Just-Don't-Get-The-Internet Department:

LINKED SITES AND ADVERTISING

If you are interested in creating hypertext links to this Site, you must contact Business & Legal Affairs of Speed at 10000 Santa Monica Boulevard, Los Angeles, California 90067 before doing so. In establishing hypertext links, you must not represent in any way, expressly or by implication, that you have received the endorsement, sponsorship or support of this Site or Speed, including its respective employees, agents, directors, officers and shareholders.

Come and get me, copper!

Charlie's Soapbox

Blast From The Past: Charlie Daniels has a very bad feeling about our involvement in Kosovo.

Half-mast

Late this afternoon, your pal MRJEFF went on down to Gates Kingsley & Gates Moeller Murphy Funeral Directors (aka The Little Chapel of the Dawn) in order to see just what-all was going on down at the place where Mr. Reagan's body is being kept until it is sent to the Capitol to lie in state. (I had recognized the building from some of the live shots on TV. It's on 20th Street in Santa Monica, which is a very hand route for north-south travel if you want to avoid Lincoln Blvd.) Both 20th Street and Arizona were blocked off for a block or so in all directions from the intersection, and various newsvans were there, ready for live shots just in case. There were around a hundred people there, most of whom were lined up awaiting their turn to be allowed past the police tape to place flowers, or a flag, or some other token next to the fountain in front of the funeral home.

Your humble narrator meditated upon the situation for a short while. And then went to the Gap.

The Fourth Estate

Homemade memorial

Gifts from the people. (Note, especially, the rocket-shaped balloon.)

A Live Remote

A Sunday trip to Santa Monica

It was a very nice day, so MRJEFF decided to take a nice little walk in Santa Monica.


He saw some bright pink bougainvillea down near the beach.

(Actually, by this point I had gone down the giant stairway at Fourth and Adelaide, and was now in Pacific Palisades.)

What's goin' on out MRJEFF's window? 

The Chris Matthews Show: Transcripts

The Chris Matthews Show has finally deigned to post its transcript of their show from a couple weeks back. Take it away, Peggy:

MATTHEWS: What's the picture of the year for this election? What's going to be the iconic picture this year, like--like that speech at Normandy was for President Reagan back in '84?

Ms. NOONAN: The picture of the year will be a wire service picture that will win a Pulitzer Prize that captures in some interesting way the fact that Bush, under terrible pressure, has been dogged, and has stood by his guns.

Ms. NOONAN: It hasn't been taken yet.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

MPAA Ratings Fun

MPAA Ratings Fun With A.O. Scott! "'The Day After Tomorrow' is rated Pg-13. Millions of people die, but nobody swears, copulates, undresses or takes drugs."

More jacaranda blogging 

The Chris Matthews Show: Transcripts

For more than a week now your pal MRJEFF has been trying to confirm something particularly stupid he heard ultra-Bush-brownnoser Peggy Noonan say on the Chris Matthews Show (don't worry, Gentle Reader - MRJEFF was merely flipping through the channels at the time). But the show must have gotten wind of these efforts. How else can you explain their refusal to add the 5/16 show to their transcripts page?

We will keep you posted.

Cokehead

(more here) 

God Damned Fucking Idiot Pundits

From the pot-calling-the-kettle-black department: A Fox News discussion between host Eric Burns and syndicated blowhard Cal Thomas:

ERIC BURNS: Al Neuharth, moderate, founder of "USA Today" says this: "The war in Iraq is the biggest military mess miscreated in the Oval Office and miscarried by the Pentagon in my 80-year lifetime."  Neuharth wants the troops out of Iraq and President Bush out of office.  Neuharth says Bush should not run for re-election.

Cal, "USA Today," largest circulation of any paper in the country, not a liberal fashion by any means.  What does it mean that the founder of this paper has turned on the administration?

CAL THOMAS:  Nothing.  He's no Walter Cronkite and this is not Vietnam.  To make an over-the-top comment like Al Neuharth did that this is worse than ever, ignores Vietnam and the experience, which was a far worse war with far more casualties.  Being an opinion writer is like being a perpetual adolescent.  You can have opinions on everything and take responsibility for nothing.  His opinions don't mean anything.  They don't have all the facts.

Mr. Thomas is, of course, himself an "opinion writer". I'll let you create your own syllogisms.

BURNS:  There are some shows on all-news cable in which the opinions do matter though, don't you think?

THOMAS:  Oh yes, on ours, of course, and including the one I just I gave.

BURNS:  Not to be too defensive.

No, not at all...

A Trip to Amoeba

Well, I finally broke down and did it. I drove on out to Hollywood, to shop at Amoeba Records. Everybody's always talking about how great it is, so I figured, what the heck.

First things first: I still hate Hollywood. Not the concept of Hollywood as it has come to be known; the symbol of American anything-as-long-as-it-makes-a-buck cultural hegemony. No, I'm fine with that. Rather, I hate Hollywood the neighborhood. There's too much traffic, no parking, dirt and litter and graffiti and discarded chewing gum everywhere.

I can't say as I'm too keen on Amoeba yet, either. Oh, sure, it's huge, and the selection is amazing. I'll definitely go back, some day. But the store is completely crowded with heroin-addicted hipsters, with their trucker caps and eyebrow piercings, and deliberately obnoxious hairstyles. Call me a heretic, but I'll keep Aron's as my primary source. Give me bright, happy Highland over depressing, dismal Cahuenga any day of the week, my man.

Hm? Oh, yeah:

Baja Sessions, Chris Isaak
Ghost Train, The Hot Club of Cowtown
that dog. and Totally Crushed Out!, that dog.
The Indestructible Beat of Soweto: Volume One

$35.61

Jacaranda Fever - Catch It!

Man oh man, are the jacaranda in bloom this month! Imagine, if you will, (this photo)*10^6, all over the Westside. Explosions of lilac everywhere! 

Brunette Alexandra Kerry

Oh, sure, Rashy will faithfully cut-and-paste every bit of Cannes info his cyclist pal sends him. But what about the truly important news from the Festival, Matt?

One Handsome Devil!

MRJEFF enjoys a fine cuppa joe! 

Rashomon

Well, it's waaaay past time for me to have mentioned this, but Rashomon has its very own correspondent reporting from Cannes, known only as "George the Cyclist". Langdon fans GreenCine Daily have, of course, taken notice, and others have begun posting links to Rashomon too.

Spleen? Pancreas?

Oh, the joy of a trip to the beach -- sand, surf, and spooge!

Bouncy!

In our continuing effort to chronicle the very best of the internet, MRJEFF3000 brings you a short clip from very-nearly-eighteen Lindsay Lohan's movie Mean Girls.

Enjoy.

Yep Roc Records

MRJEFF Record Label of the Day: Yep Roc Records. Lots of that alt-country stuff those kids in their trucker caps like so much these days, both to listen to online, and (more importantly) mp3s for download.

Jeff-Bob says check it out!

Testimonies of Young People who left Christian Rock

Testimonies of Young People who left Christian Rock

"About four years ago, a local Christian radio station began broadcasting 'rock' of the 'Christian variety.' At first, I accepted only the light stuff. Within months, I found myself listening to heavier and heavier stuff. I thank God that my parents and I came to an agreement on the music I will listen to."

"The 'Christian rock' dominated my life for over a year until I could not get the same satisfaction I received the first time I heard it. I went to secular rock music and kept this desire and sin from my parents. I started out on soft music and grew to pop/rock-type music"

"God gave me the conviction to not listen to evil Christian contemporary music. He made me free in my soul!"

"I lived in the bondage of this music and the bondage of the music of my friends' preference, which was not very good either, to say the least. I realized that this ungodly music did not glorify God and never will."

"For many years I listened to 'Christian rock' and excused it because I was not listening to secular rock. I loved going to concerts and enjoying myself. Then I went to one 'Christian rock' concert, and one of the lead singers was dressed in a tank top and tight jeans. I was not sure what to do."

"I felt really proud that everybody else was listening to regular rock and I was listening also, but mine had Christian lyrics. One day as I was listening to this music I switched the station to FM and I was shocked to hear the same song on a secular station!"

"'Christian rock' deafened my Christian 'immune system' (conscience) to rock music."

"What got me into this was my friend who accidentally left a tape behind. I picked it up and listened to it. I was immediately hooked and listened to it constantly. About two weeks later I started listening to 'rock and roll.'"

"Whenever I walk into my youth group, rock is being played. I feel Satan's control start to tighten."

"When we were together we listened to 'Christian' and 'soft rock' music. It was all sensuous and destroyed my inhibitions. I am so ashamed of what happened."

"On September 2, 1989, I went to a 'Christian rock' concert. While I was there, I danced, screamed, and sang in ways that were displeasing to God."

Don't let this happen to you. Please, throw away your Christian rock-and-roll cassette tapes IMMEDIATELY!

National Day of Prayer

It's the first Thursday in May, and you know what that means? National Day of Prayer! And who's this year's Honorary Chairman? Ollie North, naturally!

To say we are honored by Col. North's partnership with our ministry would be an understatement," NDP Vice Chairman Jim Weidmann said. "He is a man of integrity and faith who has conducted himself with tremendous personal strength and grace during some very difficult circumstances. With this year's theme and because of the Colonel's recent war coverage for FOX News, we couldn't be more pleased to have him as our Honorary Chairman.

Hallelujah!

Timex/Sinclair 1000 Emulator

Today's paper clips may have more computing power, but there's something endearing, in a Special Olympics sort of way about the Timex Sinclair.

10 PRINT "JEFF IS GREAT"
20 GOTO 10

Defamer

As Gawker to New York, and Wonkette to DC, so now is Defamer to El Lay.

Rock on.

Man of a Thousand Faces

What a hunk! 6'4", 22 years old, and soon to have a B.A. in Exercise Science! This "Jeff DeVries" is quite a catch, ladies! And he plays bass. And obsesses over role playing games. "Safety first," says this fine fellow.

How does he find the time, you might wonder, to be Corporate Controller at Heartland Pork, the Chief of Staff at Oakwood Pediatrics, and a prison guard at Fox Lake Correctional Institution? ("[M]any non-violent drug offenders are, in fact, nice guys - as nice as I am sure Jeff is.")

Congratulations on his recent engagement, though! Hope ya find out soon if there's a driver available for the DTC 6282-24 ESDI controller, buddy! But I'm sure that by now you've turned your attention to renovating Red Lodge, Montana's tallest structure (a wood crib grain elevator).

Just one request, mon frère - don't start blogging.

itmsfree.jpg 470x150 pixels

Free songs from iTunes! One a day, this week; one every week after that.

SignMaker Central

Note to self: Play with kurumi.com's excellent SignMaker Central when you get home.

Ask MetaFilter | Community Weblog

Timely info, from Ask MetaFilter.

MRJEFF's apartment .com

Everything in my apartment has a website. Everything.

CPFC BBS Archive - Favourite songs about drugs

This message board thread makes me have bad feelings in my brain.

"There She Goes"?

"Another Girl, Another Planet"?!?

(just say no!)

Shakespeare Resource Center - An Encapsulated Biography

Happy Birthday, Bill! (probably)

Mr 3000 - The Official Movie Website

Mrjeff3000

DAMMIT! I better see a piece of the action here, Touchstone!

Scientology - Corin Nemec a Scientologist - find out what I have gained from Scientology...

Parker Lewis can lose!

Cosmic 419er lost in space | The Register

I've gotten several of those "419" Nigerian spam scams (no doubt you have too), but none of them can hold a candle to this one. (The Register didn't make the obvious joke; neither will I.)

LittleGreenFootballs or Late German Fascists? (the LGF quiz)

LittleGreenFootballs or Late German Fascists? (the LGF quiz)

(I got a 92%.)

ACA: Cornhole Tournaments

Who says Fark doesn't teach you useful information? Where else would you learn about the American Cornhole Association? (Cincinnati seems to be just full fo cornholers!)

Brad Carson for Senate

When Coolio said, "There ain't no party like a West Coast party, because a West Coast party don't stop," he must have been talking about Western Oklahoma.

(Brad Carson for Senate)

Rance

Rance. Supposedly an anon-o-blog of a fairly well-known actor, possibly Owen Wilson.

The Trommetter Times: Annoying Democrats

I Am Linked! I can't exactly say how, or why, but it is so. ALL HAIL MRJEFF.

Results...

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

nerd!

Star Wars: Episode III | Episode III Release Dates Announced

I have already scheduled a sick day.

FilmForce: An Interview with Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert is a big dorky nerdy dork. Cool!

The Blogging of the President: 2004

If you haven't heard much about the recent Daily Kos/Fallujah atrocities comment brouhaha, this piece at The Blogging of the President: 2004 condenses it down pretty well.

Air America

Two blogs from your pals at Air America Radio:

MAJORITY REPORT RADIO
THE O'FRANKEN FACTOR

Riders In The Sky News

Shocking news today from MRJEFF favorites Riders In The Sky:

RIDERS ANNOUNCE LINEUP CHANGE
SO LONG WOODY, HOWDY MIKEY

Harmony Ranch, Nashville, TN.— April 1, 2004 —

In a stunning move, Riders In The Sky announced today a personnel change, the first in more than a quarter century for the storied western group.

In an amicable parting of the ways, fiddling fan favorite Woody Paul will leave the group and be replaced immediately by Mikey, an Atlanta-based musician with extensive film and TV credits.

...

"We wish Woody the best," commented Riders' guitarist Ranger Doug. "I won't deny the shock we all felt at first when Woody told us his plans, but we'll come out of this stronger than we've ever been. The great ones always re-invent themselves and that's what we'll do. It's the Cowboy Way."

Reinvention indeed. The Riders are, to a man, agreed that no-one could replace Woody, but they're betting the ranch that fans will soon fall in love with Mikey just like they did. "He's a fine musician," enthused Ranger Doug. "You wouldn't believe a two year old chimpanzee could cop all of Woody's licks but he sure does. If anything, his intonation may be even better."

...

Any downside to this rosy picture? "I had some issues about bus hygiene," said Too Slim. "But when I saw him pee in a bottle I said 'That's our monkey!'"

When asked about the future, Ranger Doug waxed philosophic. "You know, chimps that take care of themselves can expect to live 65 years. It's possible that once we've all checked out, Mikey could inherit Riders In The Sky and keep the legacy going. Since some scientists believe we're descended from apes, and Mikey would, in a sense, be descended from us, it would come full circle. Yes, a nice thought."

In other news, Too Slim noted that it's April Fool's Day.

Not sure about that irrelevant bit at the end, but good luck to you guys!

XM Radio - America Left

First XM makes all its music channels commercial-free. Then they add a Punk channel. Now this.

(this is good)

thieves crash party, steal id, get blogged | Metafilter

MeFi informs us of the case of Danah Boyd, blogger, whose purse was stolen at a party. What, oh what, Gentle Reader, is an aggrieved bloggette with phonecam photos to do? Appeal to the blogosphere for justice, natch!

Only time will tell if Danah's efforts in solving The Problem of the Purloin'd Purse will prove successful. But MRJEFF wishes her and her merry band of vigilantes only the best of luck!

Touch-tone Amway

MRJEFF's apartment manager dropped by this evening with AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY for me to SAVE 20% OR MORE on my phone bill. ACN, he said. And handed me a sign-up form (already mostly filled out, for my convenience).

It looked good. But he'd tried something like this in the past, when roomie and I first moved in. Manager Jason is an entrepreneur^*, you see. And I was concerned about the "deadline". I need to send this in today, he said. I told him it looked interesting, but I'd need to look it over. Research. Consult with my roommate Mike. I'd let him know tomorrow. Tomorrow's fine. Let me know before 10. That's my deadline.

So off to Google I go. BBB says there are no complaints about the service. And then. A link, to a site on an anti-MLM webring. Multi-Level Marketing, the pyramid scheme's slightly more reputable brother. ACN, it turns out is not primarily selling telephone service. Rather, it's promoting "opportunity" - the opportunity to sign people up, in the hopes of making money off them. Touch-tone Amway.

^* For more information about MRJEFF's apartment manager, visit http://heartsofpassion.org. Opportunities abound!

Merriam-Webster Online

Horrors! The dreaded homosexual agenda has ensnared Merriam-Webster!

???????

Creepiest webcam EVER.

STRANGEco }} NEWS } In Crowd Series 5 - Punk Is Not Dead

Oi! Act out the anarchic fantasies of your youth with AMOS Toys' punk figures!

Ask MetaFilter | Community Weblog

Dear Ask MetaFilter: I just started dating this really awesome girl, and we spend the night together often, and I want to know how long I have to wait before I can fart in bed.

Your Internet At Work.

Clow vs. Cuban!

My boss (loosely defined) does not blog.

Unlike the boss of someone else I could mention. (Again, very loosely defined.)

You win this round, Matt.

(via Fark)

Kovar/Hall

This is exactly why I didn't stay a Physics major. Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass.

P.S. - this is why, too.

Po Girl mp3 fun!

Two more free mp3s for the handful of people who read this bloggie-doodle: From Po Girl (a partial spinoff of the Be Good Tanyas, City Song and Cold Hungry Blues. (As always, right-click to save.)

Ach - I've been neglecting the ol' MRJEFF blog way too long. Mea maxima culpa, Gentle Reader.

So, here's a little filler to tide you over:

Who's Spamming Me Now?

• Doctor Fit ("Lose Weight Without a Diet!")
  
• Tangelo P. Mississippi ("Qdox vollgespritzt und rausgetropft!")
  
• Nolan Dove ("Womens survey says ENLARGE? [as seen on tv]")
  
• Liabilities P. Bisque
  
• Guadalupe Mcgill
  
• Barrister Dennis Oliseh (The ubiquitous '419 scam' is at this point one of Nigeria's main industries!)
  
• Dick Mcintyre ("The Hughest [sic] Cocks You Can Ever Imagine !")
  
• William Drummond ("Big Tits + Round Asses = Really Hot Girls !" [True, true - ed.])
  
• Herringboning F. Prince ("You can cnsoolidate or eliminate your dbet, today!")

It's nice to feel needed and appreciated.

Alfred the King of Disco, Dick Hyman

Amazing Wacky Free Download of the [insert arbitrary unit of time]: Alfred the King of Disco. (right-click to download here)

Kerry/Brokaw 2004!

For your consideration: Kerry/Brokaw 2004!

Fucking ROBBED

I have only one thing to say about this year's Academy Awards.

My roommate and I are pretty goddamned lucky that, when they revealed the winner for Best Song that the only thing I had in my hand was a bit of crumpled up paper towel. Otherwise, I'd have had to replace our television.

Hollywood is dead to me. D'ya hear? DEAD!

Knitting needles! IN MY EYES!!!

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to that segment of the MRJEFF3000 fanbase who have been very very very sad because I have not been blogging too much lately.

Sadly, the last few weeks have been among the most stressful of my life. It is very difficult to blog about wacky stuff when your job makes you want to keep sticking knitting needles in your eyes over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Does that answer your question, Chris?

Anyway, MRJEFF has been over to talk with HR, and is following up on a couple of promising leads. If any of you Gentle Readers have anyone MRJEFF should talk to in order to locate non-soul-destroying employment, please leave a letter in the hollow in the old oak tree over by old man Haney's place.

chuck_palahniuk: I got the article from Playboy ! I scann

A pretty fucking goddamned fucking funny story from Master of Mirth Chuck Palahniuk.

Ask Senator John Edwards about Valerie Lakey sometime, whydoncha? I'm sure you'll laugh and laugh...

Look At My Circumstance!

Selling SUVs, Big Time -- Someone at Lincoln-Mercury either Just Doesn't Get It, or else is the most evilly cynical bastard on the planet.

(confirmed here)

"Would you fuck me? 'Cause I'd fuck me"

Ashton Kutcher is 30. But guess what, he's still hot and I'd still do him. "

Thirty? OLD???

Bitch.

(But she's still hot and I'd still do her.)

Nova Scotia Highway Web Cameras

Nova Scotia Highway Web Cameras

(The provincewide state of emergency is continued until further notice.)

A service to our Maritime groupies

Lake Agassiz

You think the Great Lakes are great? Not long ago, during the Pleistocene there were other giant bodies of fresh water that left their mark on the land. Lake Missoula. Lake Lahontan (remnants still exist as Pyramid and Walker Lakes). Lake Bonneville, of which Utah's Great Salt Lake is but a tiny fraction.

But the biggest of them all was glacial Lake Agassiz, larger than all five Great Lakes put together.
(Inspired by a recent comment at CalPundit.)

if ultragrrrl can hotlink this image, my blog certainly won't slashdot 'em...

Blog for America : A Beginning not an End | February 18, 2004

Dean's out of the race. I dunno - this could hurt his candidacy.

WOODTV.com & WOOD TV8 - Grand Rapids news and weather - Adult magazine part of school fundraiser

"Young girls with no panties, young girls in white socks, young girls looking at his wank-mags with him, young girls doing it with one another while he watched"

Becker was disgusted by what she was seeing on the pages of her teenage daughter's new magazine. 'I was appalled...I was very shocked...literally shaking when I was reading it."

Sonuvabitch! I had a subscription to Asimov's all through my junior high years, and I never had any idea that it was an ADULT magazine!

www.Anna Waronker.com

Okay, now this is a FOX "reality" series-in-the-making, innit? From former that dog bandmember Anna Waronker's website, the item:

Anna Waronker & Charlotte Caffey are finishing the scoring for "Lovelace: the Musical", starring Tina Yothers as Linda Lovelace. The musical is in the workshop phase and Anna & Charlotte were in NY recently. Currently Lovelace is being scheduled for a Spring opening Off Broadway.

Tina Yothers. Linda Lovelace. Maybe it's all the vodka-and-NyQuil I've been drinking, but after this, I gotta lie down for a while...

FOX Fall Schedule

So I'm flipping through the channels when all of a sudden a whole lot of little people in a hot tub take over the screen.

I didn't even have to look at the cable box to know. Who else but FOX could possibly combine America's love for "romantic" "reality" shows with its fascination with dwarfism? A second and a half of Janet Jackson's more-or-less uncovered breast gives a swooning nation a case of the vapors, but The Littlest Groom offends nobody!

Or, almost nobody. My first impulse was to think, hey - this opens up a whole lot of new possibilities! Like, Who Wants To Marry A Black Guy?, and Bachelor Jew! (Okay, my real first impression was, "Yay! Oompah-Loompahs!" Bad me.) Turns out I'm not alone - actor Danny Woodburn is also a little worried about where FOX is headed.

Behind-the-Blog: During the research for this entry, MRJEFF3000 staffers ran across Reality Blurred, a website exploring the manipulation of reality and its impact on culture and society. Added, added bonus: an essay by David Neiwert, of Orcinus fame.

"Deficit of Decency"

"Does any responsible adult ever listen to the words of this rap-crap?"
-Senator Zell Miller, music critic

Jizz and Pap

Once again Langdon informs us that this year's "Jizz and Pap" list is out.

The official MRJEFF opinion remains the same as last year's.

MSNBC - S. F. authorities officiate at scores of same-sex unions

Looks like it's been a good day for love. And it's not even Valentine's Day, yet!

...

Uh, oh... The stress of publicly sanctioned homosexual monogamy has broken up yet another relationship.


Oh, yeah -- that Ken is one raging heterosexual.

Fairy Dance

I may not know art, but I know what I like.

Julius Schwartz Dead at 88

The Silver Age is over.

Julius Schwartz, DC Comics' Editor Emeritus, has died at the age of 88. In his incredibly long, incredibly influential career, he did the kinds of things that nerds like me can only dream of. As a Golden Age of Sci-Fi literary agent, Schwartz sold the first Ray Bradbury stories. Later, as a comic book editor, he singlehandedly revived the superhero genre, by updating the Flash in Showcase #4. By the time I started reading comic books, "Julie" had become such an institution that he, as editor of the Ambush Bug books, frequently actually appeared in the issues, berating artist Keith Giffen and writer Robert Loren Fleming.

Harlan Ellison is writing the NYT obit, which should show up in a day or two.

UPDATE: 2/12
NYT's obit is online, by someone named Eric Nash.

Marc Evanier says that Harlan Ellison's tribute will appear elsewhere.

staugustine.com: Local News: Public records audit: Some records requests met with suspicion and threats 02/07/04

Thirty Florida newspaper recently decided to see just how their public officials would respond to requests for public records. (The Florida constitution guarantees the right of citizens to have access.) How did they do? Not so well, sadly.

Some government agencies tried to justify their suspicions by citing heightened security concerns brought on by the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

In a post-audit interview, Taylor County Superintendent Oscar Howard said his district was hesitant to produce his cell phone bill because the volunteer wouldn't give his name.

"He could have been a terrorist," Howard said. "We have to ensure the safety of children." [emphasis added]

Howard couldn't explain how a terrorist might use his cell phone bill to harm children.

JON CARROLL

He's not going to win. He'll drop out of the race soon, after losing in Wisconsin. But, says Jon Carroll, we all owe Howard Dean our thanks, for energizing demoralized Democrats (and 2000 Greens like yours truly).

I gave him $25. But the news media decided they didn't like him primary voters went for Kerry and Edwards. *sigh* ABB. That's the focus. Anybody But Bush.

Nebula Award Nominees Online

Slashdot tells us of this year's Nebula Awards for the year's best Science Fiction and Fantasy, and links to a couple of the nominees, including Greg van Eekhout's Will You Be an Astronaut?, which is a wonderful, inspirational and deeply chilling short story.

So I've had that dog's Retreat from the Sun for like five years now - how is it that I'm just now really getting into this album?

Maybe it's like a few months ago when I all of a sudden kept making myself Chinese chicken salads...

So...very...dizzy.... Must...lie...down....

Thanks, Sarah. Thanks a whole lot.

Meccapixel.com 1.13 | Michael Cosentino

I helped out Rashomon with his umlauts earlier today, and he's returning the favor by turning me on to Meccapixel. Photoblogging, like, uh, wordblogging, is really beginning to realize the power of the internet. Not only is the internet the place you really can find just about anything, but linkblogs are becoming word-of-mouth v2.0, filtering the best out of this incredibly vast infoscape.

When I started this post I really didn't mean for there to be quite so much e-jargon.

Anyhoo, isn't this just the New Yorkiest?

Mr. Picassohead

I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.

Yahoo! News - Dean Calls FCC Probe of Breast Incident 'Silly'

Obviously Howard Dean is far too unstable to be president. Doen't he know we have to Think Of The Children?!?

Hey, how about those Super Bowl commercials?

Bud Lite: Ha! Ha! That preppie got bit in the testicles! That'll teach him for dressing well and having an attractive dog! Faggot.

Van Helsing: Looks like Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein given the LXG treatment. (I just realized - Dracula, the Wolfman, and Frankenstein [Frankenstein's monster, actually] are all Universal monsters. Way to crap on the legacy, guys.)

H&R Block: Are we really still making jokes about Willie Nelson's tax problems? Wasn't that twelve years ago?

Levitra: Baseball is like a pathetic, floppy, flaccid penis. Football is like the magnificent iron bar that is a monstrous erection.

The Budweiser ad with the donkey was cute.

Pepsi: People have been talking about the big iTunes song giveaway for months. Highly underwhelming commercial.

Bud Lite: Horse farts + candles = comedy gold. Tell me again why CBS won't show the MoveOn.org commercial?

Pepsi: Anything with Biz Markie gets my vote.

IBM/Linux: Muhammed Ali tells a ten-year-old Marshall Mathers to go open source. I think.

Halftime: What is Kid Rock wearing? It looks like he just took an American flag, cut a hole in the middle and wore it like a poncho!

The NFL 'Tomorrow' ad was cute, too.

Bud Lite: Is there a rule that all Super Bowls have to have chimp commercials nowadays? And this one has suggestions of bestiality! Tell me again why CBS won't show the MoveOn.org commercial?

Mastercard: Homer Simpson. Well, it was better than last week's episode.

ShardsO'Glass Freeze Pops: This doesn't seem like a very useful product. Oh, wait - it's an anti-smoking ad. I sure hope it doesn't advocate not smoking...

Chrysler: Okay, the guy is already stopped when he says "Wow." So we should hear it immediately. The sound isn't a mile back trying to catch up. You all noticed this right away too, didn't you?

And then it was over. New England beat Carolina, 32-29. Which, I guess, foretells a Kerry victory over Edwards. Or something like that.

Apple - Pepsi

That Apple/Pepsi 100 million iTunes song giveaway starts tomorrow.

Please feel free to email your unused winning codes to MRJEFF3000. Or stick 'em in the comments.

Nut Tree Remembered | TheReporter.Com

"Everyone has their own perception of the place firmly embedded in their minds and that won't be replaced," said Roy Moehrke, a Nut Tree employee for more than three decades. "There is no other place like it."

The Nut Tree, remembered.

If you never drove through Vacaville while it was around, you just won't understand. Once upon a time, the Nut Tree was the only point of interest, other than the rest stop/scenic overlook in Vallejo, in between San Francisco and the Central Valley along I-80. For a Northern California kid with low expectations, the Nut Tree was the place you always begged your parents to make a stop, so you could look at yourself in the funhouse mirrors, or rock in the giant rocking horses, or check out the toy store or candy shop, or -- if you were really lucky -- ride the miniature railroad out to the Nut Tree Airport and back.

The thing I remember best about the Nut Tree isn't the train, or the colorful lollipops, or the airplane-themed souvenirs, or even the aviary surrounding the restaurant. None of these (except possibly the candy) can compare to the overall 1950's It's-A-Small-World design of the place. If you know what I mean.

I guess you had to be there.

In the meantime, won't you please have a pumpkin muffin? Or some marshmallow sauce?

Calpundit: Truth is Stranger Than Fiction Department

Calpundit's Kevin Drum once again proves Lily Tomlin's adage, "No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up."

("Why does American History hate America?")

OSCAR.com - 76th Annual Academy Awards - Nominees: Music (Song)

Oscar® nominations were announced today. We at MRJEFF3000 will leave it to others to hash over this year's list. The only thing that's important to us at Your Official MRJEFF Blog is the prospect of another Mitch and Mickey reunion.

President Bush Speaks with Nation's Mayors at Winter Meeting

Awww. The puppet fell off...

Julia is so smart.
I’m annually reminded.
Yeah Julia is so smart.
She used to be a goth kid.

Video for Julia, by Limbeck. (23 meg QuickTime.)

TAPPED

Here's an article from TAPPED which considers Howard Dean's approach to problem-solving as influenced by his medical background:

If you've ever spent time in the medical arena you know that being a physician is something very different from being an attorney, which is what John Edwards, John Kerry, and Joe Lieberman are. Your stance to the world is simply different if you're a physician, because -- outside of a few specialties, like plastic surgery -- your power doesn't come from how you look or how you appear or even how you sound. It comes from your knowledge and the capacity to do things no one else is authorized to do in their daily lives -- to touch bodies, to demand of individuals, to prescribe courses of action -- and from the human power of interaction. You can't convince people to be healed, no matter how eloquently you speak about disease and suffering or what you wear. You have to actually do something to make a person better. You also have to do the right thing. And if you don't, the consequences can be dire and literally deadly.

And, of course my favorite passage would have to be, "...they're kind of dorky, just like the science nerds they used to be....The Deans are a couple who met in a neuroanatomy class. That about says it all."

DubyaSpeak.com >>> We record the damage.

George Dubya speakifying: DubyaSpeak.com

Whiskey Bar: Bragging Rights

"No President has ever done more for human rights than I have." -- George W. Bush

insound - mp3s

Another batch of indie mp3's for your downloading buffet, courtesy of the Insound label.

The Story So Far...Archive

As much as I would love to support a lunar base and manned missions to Mars, I can't. And it's not a knee-jerk opposition to George W. Bush. It's stuff like this.

The president wants this to be his Apollo program, no doubt. And I'm afraid that if it succeeds, it will be. And after a few trips NASA's funding will be cut, and there won't be any more missions for another few decades.

hothoward.jpg 349x720 pixels

Memo to the Dean campaign: play your cards right, and you've got the Abercrombie generation's votes, easy.

Machinery Found At Spirit Landing Site

AHA!!!!!

L.A. Avenue.com - Live Views of Los Angeles / Southern California

Is this webcam really a live cam? It seems to be (at the moment) live shots from someone driving around Los Angeles (and it updates pretty quickly, too!)

Some days you just get the most useless Scrabble™ hand...

Ida - Epitonic.com: Hi Quality Free and Legal MP3 Music

MRJEFF's song of the blog entry: Blizzard of '78, by Ida [download]

(thanks to Epitonic)