In Which Elyse Calls Her Lawyer And Asks, "How Much Is A Restraining Order Again?"

And so we kick off Stalkwatch 2003 with an interview (from Steppin' Out magazine ("NY & NJ's #1 Entertainment Magazine!") with our current obsession, Elyse Sewell. Choice excerpts:

Does the winner automatically reach supermodel status?

I think that to attain true "supermodel" status, a girl must be more recognizable to the public than the vice president of the United States. Dick Cheney's last fashion spread in Marie Claire magazine occurred over two years ago, and his Revlon contract was terminated in the mid-'80s, so I think that the winner will fit the "supermodel" definition immediately.

...

When did you first start to realize you had what it takes to model?

At the age of 16, I was perusing the silk slipper selection in the open-air markets of Bangkok when an orange was thrown from a second-story window and struck me on the back of the head. As I tenderly caressed the contusion, it began to throb rhythmically. I whipped out my Morse Code decoder ring and deciphered this message: "Elyse, you have what it takes to model." I raced up a narrow staircase into the room from whence the orange had flown, but found only the remains of a Dionysian feast and six jet-black hairs plucked from the bonny head of the princess. As our ship was to leave port in five minutes, I was forced to abandon my sleuthing and race up the gangplank, for otherwise how could I gain passage back to Cape Hatteras? The source of the message remains a mystery to this day.

So, obviously, you can see why I blog so.