There's a corpse that's got really big tits!

It looks like Ah-nold has decided not to attend the California recall candidates' debate this week.

Which is a real shame, because if the commentary track on the Conan the Barbarian DVD is any indication, it would've been pretty fucking hilarious:

John Milius: You're totally innocent here. ... You've never had any kind of fight with anybody. ... All you can rely on is animal reaction.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Oh yeah, that's right. I remember now. That guy was biting me seriously, huh? ... Then I break his arm.

JM: There's nothing, nothing slick about that fight. It's just ...

AS: ... just the pounding him in the head and then breaking his head.

This kind of exchange is common in the Conan commentary; every time Milius attempts to elevate the discussion with comments like "Conan is an intellectual ... a man of deep philosophies," Schwarzenegger pounds it back down again, giving away Conan's ending 10 minutes into the film and repeatedly stating the obvious, as in, "Now we are running," and "Now he's putting [the sword] in the snow." The two leer at every female who comes onscreen, including a limbless, gutted torso about which Schwarzenegger cries, "There's a corpse that's got really big tits!" At one point, the star boasts to his director, "I was getting laid a lot in this movie. It was amazing. ... Remember, she was, like, totally sweating and oiled up, huh?" then adds: "It was a great scene, actually, because it was done really tastefully." Just as Milius' high-minded references predictably zoom over Schwarzenegger's head, Schwarzenegger's sometimes surreally naive line of questioning (he doesn't appear to know what a mill does, what grain is for, or where it comes from, nor does he remember that there was a sequel to Conan and that he starred in it) accidentally draws the viewer into closer scrutiny of the plot's most gaping holes.