ONE WEEK ONLY! Metric: Combat Baby @ iTunes

This week's free iTunes song: Metric's Combat Baby.

Of course, those of you who are still bound to the mp3 format can download this song from Epitonic.

Whichever you choose, MRJEFF recommends most highly!

Police Chase

What fun! Another police chase in Southern California! When your pal MRJEFF first tuned in, the alleged criminal was on southbound on the 5, moving past Dodger Stadium. (Interestingly, due to post-9/11 air traffic rules, the news choppers had to give the stadium a wide berth.)

And now the perp has moved from the westbound 10 to the 405 south toward LAX. And, incidentally, past MRJEFF's Culver City abode. Your Humble Narrator counted four-ish helicopters following, but was unable to see how many ground units were en chasse.

The cameras had to break away due to cloud cover over LAX, but soon resumed pursuit over Inglewood city streets, and then to Redondo Beach, where the suspect abandoned his vehicle, ran through the streets with a gun to his head, and, thankfully, quickly surrendered peacefully. The system works. Local geography lesson complete.

John Derbyshire Sucks (part 17)

My goodness, how I hate John Derbyshire:

Although, back of the smile, there is the dull, sad realisation that our people could never be so clever and devious. I get the same feeling about the War on Terror. Not only does the Devil have all the best tunes, he has the best tricks, too.

See, the problem with us conservatives is, we're too nice. Just don't know how to think dirty.

Hm.

soulbinder: We are living in 1984.*Reaches for Orwel

Here's a clever analysis of one passage from 1984, by some Live Journal-ist.

Designs on the White House T-Shirts

and other t-shirts, at Designs on the White House.

Tres Chicas.org

MP3 of the day: Sweetwater (right-click to save) from Tres Chicas.

The Most Ironic Street Name in Los Angeles

Ferris Wheel / St. Gerard Majella

Ferris wheel, at the carnival at St. Gerard Majella church, on Inglewood near Culver.
Gerard Majella is the patron saint of, among other things, pregnant women and the pro-life movement.

Ronald W. Reagan is Still Dead

Revisit the past! Remember earlier this month when Reagan died and a MRJEFF operative took in the scene down at the funeral home? Other bloggers (1, 2) were also on the prowl, exploiting the national tragedy for their own selfish purposes.

Mayhem at Braddock and Duquesne!

An accident! Excitement in Culver City!


Gosh - I feel like WeeGee!


But am I just exploiting these people's misery?


Well, it's such a nice day today. And I'm sure nobody was hurt, right?

Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peckers

From the Peter-Piper-Picked-a-Peck-of-Pickled-Peckers department:

Here it is, 9:58 Monday morning. Somehow I just know that this is going to set the tone for the entire week.

Another glorious Saturday in the Promised Land.

New Product Review

At the ad agency where MRJEFF works, we were recently dropped off a large supply of herbal beverages from the Carpe Diem beverage consortium, with the suggestion that we avail ourselves of the opportunity to sample the three products Kombucha, Gingkgo, and Kefir.

Kefir, with its fermented elderberry juice base, resembled most closely a cherry or raspberry Tootsie Pop™ (in beverage form). Most of my staff agreed, this was the least nauseating most palatable of the Carpe Diem drinks. It was very thick - the official MRJEFF suggestion is to use this as either a cough syrup, or to drizzle over pancakes. 4/10.

Ginkgo: most of MRJEFF's employees and associates decreed this to be vile and undrinkable. What do they know, these kids these days, with their Britney Spears and their tongue piercings? This one vaguely resembles a somewhat earthy sarsaparilla. Plus, it make MRJEFF mind work...uh...gooder.... 7/10.

Kombucha: I am sure that, in the proper combination, a beverage comprised of Hibiscus Bloom, Rose Hips, Blackberry Leaf, European Elder Bloom, Pepperming Leaf, and Lemon Balm Leave could be non-sucky. But in this combination, it basically tastes like a blackberry candy stick and a mouthful of toothpaste. Plus, it's got Lactobacillus casei ("Culture in LLV agar medium followed by ELISA using monoclonal antibodies specific for LCS was able to detect the organism in faeces. Using this method, we studied the faecal recovery of LCS in individuals who drank 125 ml of fermented milk which contained 10(10) live LCS for 3 days. The mean recovery was about 10(7) live bacteria per gram of faeces, indicating that LCS survived transit through the gastrointestinal tract after ingestion of the fermented milk." WTF?) Nevertheless, 2/10

SPEED

From the We-Just-Don't-Get-The-Internet Department:

LINKED SITES AND ADVERTISING

If you are interested in creating hypertext links to this Site, you must contact Business & Legal Affairs of Speed at 10000 Santa Monica Boulevard, Los Angeles, California 90067 before doing so. In establishing hypertext links, you must not represent in any way, expressly or by implication, that you have received the endorsement, sponsorship or support of this Site or Speed, including its respective employees, agents, directors, officers and shareholders.

Come and get me, copper!

Charlie's Soapbox

Blast From The Past: Charlie Daniels has a very bad feeling about our involvement in Kosovo.

Half-mast

Late this afternoon, your pal MRJEFF went on down to Gates Kingsley & Gates Moeller Murphy Funeral Directors (aka The Little Chapel of the Dawn) in order to see just what-all was going on down at the place where Mr. Reagan's body is being kept until it is sent to the Capitol to lie in state. (I had recognized the building from some of the live shots on TV. It's on 20th Street in Santa Monica, which is a very hand route for north-south travel if you want to avoid Lincoln Blvd.) Both 20th Street and Arizona were blocked off for a block or so in all directions from the intersection, and various newsvans were there, ready for live shots just in case. There were around a hundred people there, most of whom were lined up awaiting their turn to be allowed past the police tape to place flowers, or a flag, or some other token next to the fountain in front of the funeral home.

Your humble narrator meditated upon the situation for a short while. And then went to the Gap.

The Fourth Estate

Homemade memorial

Gifts from the people. (Note, especially, the rocket-shaped balloon.)

A Live Remote

A Sunday trip to Santa Monica

It was a very nice day, so MRJEFF decided to take a nice little walk in Santa Monica.


He saw some bright pink bougainvillea down near the beach.

(Actually, by this point I had gone down the giant stairway at Fourth and Adelaide, and was now in Pacific Palisades.)

What's goin' on out MRJEFF's window? 

The Chris Matthews Show: Transcripts

The Chris Matthews Show has finally deigned to post its transcript of their show from a couple weeks back. Take it away, Peggy:

MATTHEWS: What's the picture of the year for this election? What's going to be the iconic picture this year, like--like that speech at Normandy was for President Reagan back in '84?

Ms. NOONAN: The picture of the year will be a wire service picture that will win a Pulitzer Prize that captures in some interesting way the fact that Bush, under terrible pressure, has been dogged, and has stood by his guns.

Ms. NOONAN: It hasn't been taken yet.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

MPAA Ratings Fun

MPAA Ratings Fun With A.O. Scott! "'The Day After Tomorrow' is rated Pg-13. Millions of people die, but nobody swears, copulates, undresses or takes drugs."

More jacaranda blogging 

The Chris Matthews Show: Transcripts

For more than a week now your pal MRJEFF has been trying to confirm something particularly stupid he heard ultra-Bush-brownnoser Peggy Noonan say on the Chris Matthews Show (don't worry, Gentle Reader - MRJEFF was merely flipping through the channels at the time). But the show must have gotten wind of these efforts. How else can you explain their refusal to add the 5/16 show to their transcripts page?

We will keep you posted.

Cokehead

(more here) 

God Damned Fucking Idiot Pundits

From the pot-calling-the-kettle-black department: A Fox News discussion between host Eric Burns and syndicated blowhard Cal Thomas:

ERIC BURNS: Al Neuharth, moderate, founder of "USA Today" says this: "The war in Iraq is the biggest military mess miscreated in the Oval Office and miscarried by the Pentagon in my 80-year lifetime."  Neuharth wants the troops out of Iraq and President Bush out of office.  Neuharth says Bush should not run for re-election.

Cal, "USA Today," largest circulation of any paper in the country, not a liberal fashion by any means.  What does it mean that the founder of this paper has turned on the administration?

CAL THOMAS:  Nothing.  He's no Walter Cronkite and this is not Vietnam.  To make an over-the-top comment like Al Neuharth did that this is worse than ever, ignores Vietnam and the experience, which was a far worse war with far more casualties.  Being an opinion writer is like being a perpetual adolescent.  You can have opinions on everything and take responsibility for nothing.  His opinions don't mean anything.  They don't have all the facts.

Mr. Thomas is, of course, himself an "opinion writer". I'll let you create your own syllogisms.

BURNS:  There are some shows on all-news cable in which the opinions do matter though, don't you think?

THOMAS:  Oh yes, on ours, of course, and including the one I just I gave.

BURNS:  Not to be too defensive.

No, not at all...

A Trip to Amoeba

Well, I finally broke down and did it. I drove on out to Hollywood, to shop at Amoeba Records. Everybody's always talking about how great it is, so I figured, what the heck.

First things first: I still hate Hollywood. Not the concept of Hollywood as it has come to be known; the symbol of American anything-as-long-as-it-makes-a-buck cultural hegemony. No, I'm fine with that. Rather, I hate Hollywood the neighborhood. There's too much traffic, no parking, dirt and litter and graffiti and discarded chewing gum everywhere.

I can't say as I'm too keen on Amoeba yet, either. Oh, sure, it's huge, and the selection is amazing. I'll definitely go back, some day. But the store is completely crowded with heroin-addicted hipsters, with their trucker caps and eyebrow piercings, and deliberately obnoxious hairstyles. Call me a heretic, but I'll keep Aron's as my primary source. Give me bright, happy Highland over depressing, dismal Cahuenga any day of the week, my man.

Hm? Oh, yeah:

Baja Sessions, Chris Isaak
Ghost Train, The Hot Club of Cowtown
that dog. and Totally Crushed Out!, that dog.
The Indestructible Beat of Soweto: Volume One

$35.61

Jacaranda Fever - Catch It!

Man oh man, are the jacaranda in bloom this month! Imagine, if you will, (this photo)*10^6, all over the Westside. Explosions of lilac everywhere! 

Brunette Alexandra Kerry

Oh, sure, Rashy will faithfully cut-and-paste every bit of Cannes info his cyclist pal sends him. But what about the truly important news from the Festival, Matt?

One Handsome Devil!

MRJEFF enjoys a fine cuppa joe! 

Rashomon

Well, it's waaaay past time for me to have mentioned this, but Rashomon has its very own correspondent reporting from Cannes, known only as "George the Cyclist". Langdon fans GreenCine Daily have, of course, taken notice, and others have begun posting links to Rashomon too.

Spleen? Pancreas?

Oh, the joy of a trip to the beach -- sand, surf, and spooge!

Bouncy!

In our continuing effort to chronicle the very best of the internet, MRJEFF3000 brings you a short clip from very-nearly-eighteen Lindsay Lohan's movie Mean Girls.

Enjoy.

Yep Roc Records

MRJEFF Record Label of the Day: Yep Roc Records. Lots of that alt-country stuff those kids in their trucker caps like so much these days, both to listen to online, and (more importantly) mp3s for download.

Jeff-Bob says check it out!

Testimonies of Young People who left Christian Rock

Testimonies of Young People who left Christian Rock

"About four years ago, a local Christian radio station began broadcasting 'rock' of the 'Christian variety.' At first, I accepted only the light stuff. Within months, I found myself listening to heavier and heavier stuff. I thank God that my parents and I came to an agreement on the music I will listen to."

"The 'Christian rock' dominated my life for over a year until I could not get the same satisfaction I received the first time I heard it. I went to secular rock music and kept this desire and sin from my parents. I started out on soft music and grew to pop/rock-type music"

"God gave me the conviction to not listen to evil Christian contemporary music. He made me free in my soul!"

"I lived in the bondage of this music and the bondage of the music of my friends' preference, which was not very good either, to say the least. I realized that this ungodly music did not glorify God and never will."

"For many years I listened to 'Christian rock' and excused it because I was not listening to secular rock. I loved going to concerts and enjoying myself. Then I went to one 'Christian rock' concert, and one of the lead singers was dressed in a tank top and tight jeans. I was not sure what to do."

"I felt really proud that everybody else was listening to regular rock and I was listening also, but mine had Christian lyrics. One day as I was listening to this music I switched the station to FM and I was shocked to hear the same song on a secular station!"

"'Christian rock' deafened my Christian 'immune system' (conscience) to rock music."

"What got me into this was my friend who accidentally left a tape behind. I picked it up and listened to it. I was immediately hooked and listened to it constantly. About two weeks later I started listening to 'rock and roll.'"

"Whenever I walk into my youth group, rock is being played. I feel Satan's control start to tighten."

"When we were together we listened to 'Christian' and 'soft rock' music. It was all sensuous and destroyed my inhibitions. I am so ashamed of what happened."

"On September 2, 1989, I went to a 'Christian rock' concert. While I was there, I danced, screamed, and sang in ways that were displeasing to God."

Don't let this happen to you. Please, throw away your Christian rock-and-roll cassette tapes IMMEDIATELY!

National Day of Prayer

It's the first Thursday in May, and you know what that means? National Day of Prayer! And who's this year's Honorary Chairman? Ollie North, naturally!

To say we are honored by Col. North's partnership with our ministry would be an understatement," NDP Vice Chairman Jim Weidmann said. "He is a man of integrity and faith who has conducted himself with tremendous personal strength and grace during some very difficult circumstances. With this year's theme and because of the Colonel's recent war coverage for FOX News, we couldn't be more pleased to have him as our Honorary Chairman.

Hallelujah!

Timex/Sinclair 1000 Emulator

Today's paper clips may have more computing power, but there's something endearing, in a Special Olympics sort of way about the Timex Sinclair.

10 PRINT "JEFF IS GREAT"
20 GOTO 10

Defamer

As Gawker to New York, and Wonkette to DC, so now is Defamer to El Lay.

Rock on.

Man of a Thousand Faces

What a hunk! 6'4", 22 years old, and soon to have a B.A. in Exercise Science! This "Jeff DeVries" is quite a catch, ladies! And he plays bass. And obsesses over role playing games. "Safety first," says this fine fellow.

How does he find the time, you might wonder, to be Corporate Controller at Heartland Pork, the Chief of Staff at Oakwood Pediatrics, and a prison guard at Fox Lake Correctional Institution? ("[M]any non-violent drug offenders are, in fact, nice guys - as nice as I am sure Jeff is.")

Congratulations on his recent engagement, though! Hope ya find out soon if there's a driver available for the DTC 6282-24 ESDI controller, buddy! But I'm sure that by now you've turned your attention to renovating Red Lodge, Montana's tallest structure (a wood crib grain elevator).

Just one request, mon frère - don't start blogging.

itmsfree.jpg 470x150 pixels

Free songs from iTunes! One a day, this week; one every week after that.

SignMaker Central

Note to self: Play with kurumi.com's excellent SignMaker Central when you get home.

Ask MetaFilter | Community Weblog

Timely info, from Ask MetaFilter.

MRJEFF's apartment .com

Everything in my apartment has a website. Everything.

CPFC BBS Archive - Favourite songs about drugs

This message board thread makes me have bad feelings in my brain.

"There She Goes"?

"Another Girl, Another Planet"?!?

(just say no!)

Shakespeare Resource Center - An Encapsulated Biography

Happy Birthday, Bill! (probably)

Mr 3000 - The Official Movie Website

Mrjeff3000

DAMMIT! I better see a piece of the action here, Touchstone!

Scientology - Corin Nemec a Scientologist - find out what I have gained from Scientology...

Parker Lewis can lose!

Cosmic 419er lost in space | The Register

I've gotten several of those "419" Nigerian spam scams (no doubt you have too), but none of them can hold a candle to this one. (The Register didn't make the obvious joke; neither will I.)

LittleGreenFootballs or Late German Fascists? (the LGF quiz)

LittleGreenFootballs or Late German Fascists? (the LGF quiz)

(I got a 92%.)

ACA: Cornhole Tournaments

Who says Fark doesn't teach you useful information? Where else would you learn about the American Cornhole Association? (Cincinnati seems to be just full fo cornholers!)

Brad Carson for Senate

When Coolio said, "There ain't no party like a West Coast party, because a West Coast party don't stop," he must have been talking about Western Oklahoma.

(Brad Carson for Senate)

Rance

Rance. Supposedly an anon-o-blog of a fairly well-known actor, possibly Owen Wilson.

The Trommetter Times: Annoying Democrats

I Am Linked! I can't exactly say how, or why, but it is so. ALL HAIL MRJEFF.

Results...

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

nerd!

Star Wars: Episode III | Episode III Release Dates Announced

I have already scheduled a sick day.

FilmForce: An Interview with Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert is a big dorky nerdy dork. Cool!

The Blogging of the President: 2004

If you haven't heard much about the recent Daily Kos/Fallujah atrocities comment brouhaha, this piece at The Blogging of the President: 2004 condenses it down pretty well.

Air America

Two blogs from your pals at Air America Radio:

MAJORITY REPORT RADIO
THE O'FRANKEN FACTOR

Riders In The Sky News

Shocking news today from MRJEFF favorites Riders In The Sky:

RIDERS ANNOUNCE LINEUP CHANGE
SO LONG WOODY, HOWDY MIKEY

Harmony Ranch, Nashville, TN.— April 1, 2004 —

In a stunning move, Riders In The Sky announced today a personnel change, the first in more than a quarter century for the storied western group.

In an amicable parting of the ways, fiddling fan favorite Woody Paul will leave the group and be replaced immediately by Mikey, an Atlanta-based musician with extensive film and TV credits.

...

"We wish Woody the best," commented Riders' guitarist Ranger Doug. "I won't deny the shock we all felt at first when Woody told us his plans, but we'll come out of this stronger than we've ever been. The great ones always re-invent themselves and that's what we'll do. It's the Cowboy Way."

Reinvention indeed. The Riders are, to a man, agreed that no-one could replace Woody, but they're betting the ranch that fans will soon fall in love with Mikey just like they did. "He's a fine musician," enthused Ranger Doug. "You wouldn't believe a two year old chimpanzee could cop all of Woody's licks but he sure does. If anything, his intonation may be even better."

...

Any downside to this rosy picture? "I had some issues about bus hygiene," said Too Slim. "But when I saw him pee in a bottle I said 'That's our monkey!'"

When asked about the future, Ranger Doug waxed philosophic. "You know, chimps that take care of themselves can expect to live 65 years. It's possible that once we've all checked out, Mikey could inherit Riders In The Sky and keep the legacy going. Since some scientists believe we're descended from apes, and Mikey would, in a sense, be descended from us, it would come full circle. Yes, a nice thought."

In other news, Too Slim noted that it's April Fool's Day.

Not sure about that irrelevant bit at the end, but good luck to you guys!

XM Radio - America Left

First XM makes all its music channels commercial-free. Then they add a Punk channel. Now this.

(this is good)

thieves crash party, steal id, get blogged | Metafilter

MeFi informs us of the case of Danah Boyd, blogger, whose purse was stolen at a party. What, oh what, Gentle Reader, is an aggrieved bloggette with phonecam photos to do? Appeal to the blogosphere for justice, natch!

Only time will tell if Danah's efforts in solving The Problem of the Purloin'd Purse will prove successful. But MRJEFF wishes her and her merry band of vigilantes only the best of luck!

Touch-tone Amway

MRJEFF's apartment manager dropped by this evening with AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY for me to SAVE 20% OR MORE on my phone bill. ACN, he said. And handed me a sign-up form (already mostly filled out, for my convenience).

It looked good. But he'd tried something like this in the past, when roomie and I first moved in. Manager Jason is an entrepreneur^*, you see. And I was concerned about the "deadline". I need to send this in today, he said. I told him it looked interesting, but I'd need to look it over. Research. Consult with my roommate Mike. I'd let him know tomorrow. Tomorrow's fine. Let me know before 10. That's my deadline.

So off to Google I go. BBB says there are no complaints about the service. And then. A link, to a site on an anti-MLM webring. Multi-Level Marketing, the pyramid scheme's slightly more reputable brother. ACN, it turns out is not primarily selling telephone service. Rather, it's promoting "opportunity" - the opportunity to sign people up, in the hopes of making money off them. Touch-tone Amway.

^* For more information about MRJEFF's apartment manager, visit http://heartsofpassion.org. Opportunities abound!

Merriam-Webster Online

Horrors! The dreaded homosexual agenda has ensnared Merriam-Webster!

???????

Creepiest webcam EVER.

STRANGEco }} NEWS } In Crowd Series 5 - Punk Is Not Dead

Oi! Act out the anarchic fantasies of your youth with AMOS Toys' punk figures!

Ask MetaFilter | Community Weblog

Dear Ask MetaFilter: I just started dating this really awesome girl, and we spend the night together often, and I want to know how long I have to wait before I can fart in bed.

Your Internet At Work.

Clow vs. Cuban!

My boss (loosely defined) does not blog.

Unlike the boss of someone else I could mention. (Again, very loosely defined.)

You win this round, Matt.

(via Fark)

Kovar/Hall

This is exactly why I didn't stay a Physics major. Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass.

P.S. - this is why, too.

Po Girl mp3 fun!

Two more free mp3s for the handful of people who read this bloggie-doodle: From Po Girl (a partial spinoff of the Be Good Tanyas, City Song and Cold Hungry Blues. (As always, right-click to save.)

Ach - I've been neglecting the ol' MRJEFF blog way too long. Mea maxima culpa, Gentle Reader.

So, here's a little filler to tide you over:

Who's Spamming Me Now?

• Doctor Fit ("Lose Weight Without a Diet!")
  
• Tangelo P. Mississippi ("Qdox vollgespritzt und rausgetropft!")
  
• Nolan Dove ("Womens survey says ENLARGE? [as seen on tv]")
  
• Liabilities P. Bisque
  
• Guadalupe Mcgill
  
• Barrister Dennis Oliseh (The ubiquitous '419 scam' is at this point one of Nigeria's main industries!)
  
• Dick Mcintyre ("The Hughest [sic] Cocks You Can Ever Imagine !")
  
• William Drummond ("Big Tits + Round Asses = Really Hot Girls !" [True, true - ed.])
  
• Herringboning F. Prince ("You can cnsoolidate or eliminate your dbet, today!")

It's nice to feel needed and appreciated.

Alfred the King of Disco, Dick Hyman

Amazing Wacky Free Download of the [insert arbitrary unit of time]: Alfred the King of Disco. (right-click to download here)

Kerry/Brokaw 2004!

For your consideration: Kerry/Brokaw 2004!

Fucking ROBBED

I have only one thing to say about this year's Academy Awards.

My roommate and I are pretty goddamned lucky that, when they revealed the winner for Best Song that the only thing I had in my hand was a bit of crumpled up paper towel. Otherwise, I'd have had to replace our television.

Hollywood is dead to me. D'ya hear? DEAD!

Knitting needles! IN MY EYES!!!

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to that segment of the MRJEFF3000 fanbase who have been very very very sad because I have not been blogging too much lately.

Sadly, the last few weeks have been among the most stressful of my life. It is very difficult to blog about wacky stuff when your job makes you want to keep sticking knitting needles in your eyes over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER. Does that answer your question, Chris?

Anyway, MRJEFF has been over to talk with HR, and is following up on a couple of promising leads. If any of you Gentle Readers have anyone MRJEFF should talk to in order to locate non-soul-destroying employment, please leave a letter in the hollow in the old oak tree over by old man Haney's place.

chuck_palahniuk: I got the article from Playboy ! I scann

A pretty fucking goddamned fucking funny story from Master of Mirth Chuck Palahniuk.

Ask Senator John Edwards about Valerie Lakey sometime, whydoncha? I'm sure you'll laugh and laugh...

Look At My Circumstance!

Selling SUVs, Big Time -- Someone at Lincoln-Mercury either Just Doesn't Get It, or else is the most evilly cynical bastard on the planet.

(confirmed here)

"Would you fuck me? 'Cause I'd fuck me"

Ashton Kutcher is 30. But guess what, he's still hot and I'd still do him. "

Thirty? OLD???

Bitch.

(But she's still hot and I'd still do her.)

Nova Scotia Highway Web Cameras

Nova Scotia Highway Web Cameras

(The provincewide state of emergency is continued until further notice.)

A service to our Maritime groupies

Lake Agassiz

You think the Great Lakes are great? Not long ago, during the Pleistocene there were other giant bodies of fresh water that left their mark on the land. Lake Missoula. Lake Lahontan (remnants still exist as Pyramid and Walker Lakes). Lake Bonneville, of which Utah's Great Salt Lake is but a tiny fraction.

But the biggest of them all was glacial Lake Agassiz, larger than all five Great Lakes put together.
(Inspired by a recent comment at CalPundit.)

if ultragrrrl can hotlink this image, my blog certainly won't slashdot 'em...

Blog for America : A Beginning not an End | February 18, 2004

Dean's out of the race. I dunno - this could hurt his candidacy.

WOODTV.com & WOOD TV8 - Grand Rapids news and weather - Adult magazine part of school fundraiser

"Young girls with no panties, young girls in white socks, young girls looking at his wank-mags with him, young girls doing it with one another while he watched"

Becker was disgusted by what she was seeing on the pages of her teenage daughter's new magazine. 'I was appalled...I was very shocked...literally shaking when I was reading it."

Sonuvabitch! I had a subscription to Asimov's all through my junior high years, and I never had any idea that it was an ADULT magazine!

www.Anna Waronker.com

Okay, now this is a FOX "reality" series-in-the-making, innit? From former that dog bandmember Anna Waronker's website, the item:

Anna Waronker & Charlotte Caffey are finishing the scoring for "Lovelace: the Musical", starring Tina Yothers as Linda Lovelace. The musical is in the workshop phase and Anna & Charlotte were in NY recently. Currently Lovelace is being scheduled for a Spring opening Off Broadway.

Tina Yothers. Linda Lovelace. Maybe it's all the vodka-and-NyQuil I've been drinking, but after this, I gotta lie down for a while...

FOX Fall Schedule

So I'm flipping through the channels when all of a sudden a whole lot of little people in a hot tub take over the screen.

I didn't even have to look at the cable box to know. Who else but FOX could possibly combine America's love for "romantic" "reality" shows with its fascination with dwarfism? A second and a half of Janet Jackson's more-or-less uncovered breast gives a swooning nation a case of the vapors, but The Littlest Groom offends nobody!

Or, almost nobody. My first impulse was to think, hey - this opens up a whole lot of new possibilities! Like, Who Wants To Marry A Black Guy?, and Bachelor Jew! (Okay, my real first impression was, "Yay! Oompah-Loompahs!" Bad me.) Turns out I'm not alone - actor Danny Woodburn is also a little worried about where FOX is headed.

Behind-the-Blog: During the research for this entry, MRJEFF3000 staffers ran across Reality Blurred, a website exploring the manipulation of reality and its impact on culture and society. Added, added bonus: an essay by David Neiwert, of Orcinus fame.

"Deficit of Decency"

"Does any responsible adult ever listen to the words of this rap-crap?"
-Senator Zell Miller, music critic

Jizz and Pap

Once again Langdon informs us that this year's "Jizz and Pap" list is out.

The official MRJEFF opinion remains the same as last year's.

MSNBC - S. F. authorities officiate at scores of same-sex unions

Looks like it's been a good day for love. And it's not even Valentine's Day, yet!

...

Uh, oh... The stress of publicly sanctioned homosexual monogamy has broken up yet another relationship.


Oh, yeah -- that Ken is one raging heterosexual.

Fairy Dance

I may not know art, but I know what I like.

Julius Schwartz Dead at 88

The Silver Age is over.

Julius Schwartz, DC Comics' Editor Emeritus, has died at the age of 88. In his incredibly long, incredibly influential career, he did the kinds of things that nerds like me can only dream of. As a Golden Age of Sci-Fi literary agent, Schwartz sold the first Ray Bradbury stories. Later, as a comic book editor, he singlehandedly revived the superhero genre, by updating the Flash in Showcase #4. By the time I started reading comic books, "Julie" had become such an institution that he, as editor of the Ambush Bug books, frequently actually appeared in the issues, berating artist Keith Giffen and writer Robert Loren Fleming.

Harlan Ellison is writing the NYT obit, which should show up in a day or two.

UPDATE: 2/12
NYT's obit is online, by someone named Eric Nash.

Marc Evanier says that Harlan Ellison's tribute will appear elsewhere.

staugustine.com: Local News: Public records audit: Some records requests met with suspicion and threats 02/07/04

Thirty Florida newspaper recently decided to see just how their public officials would respond to requests for public records. (The Florida constitution guarantees the right of citizens to have access.) How did they do? Not so well, sadly.

Some government agencies tried to justify their suspicions by citing heightened security concerns brought on by the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

In a post-audit interview, Taylor County Superintendent Oscar Howard said his district was hesitant to produce his cell phone bill because the volunteer wouldn't give his name.

"He could have been a terrorist," Howard said. "We have to ensure the safety of children." [emphasis added]

Howard couldn't explain how a terrorist might use his cell phone bill to harm children.

JON CARROLL

He's not going to win. He'll drop out of the race soon, after losing in Wisconsin. But, says Jon Carroll, we all owe Howard Dean our thanks, for energizing demoralized Democrats (and 2000 Greens like yours truly).

I gave him $25. But the news media decided they didn't like him primary voters went for Kerry and Edwards. *sigh* ABB. That's the focus. Anybody But Bush.

Nebula Award Nominees Online

Slashdot tells us of this year's Nebula Awards for the year's best Science Fiction and Fantasy, and links to a couple of the nominees, including Greg van Eekhout's Will You Be an Astronaut?, which is a wonderful, inspirational and deeply chilling short story.

So I've had that dog's Retreat from the Sun for like five years now - how is it that I'm just now really getting into this album?

Maybe it's like a few months ago when I all of a sudden kept making myself Chinese chicken salads...

So...very...dizzy.... Must...lie...down....

Thanks, Sarah. Thanks a whole lot.

Meccapixel.com 1.13 | Michael Cosentino

I helped out Rashomon with his umlauts earlier today, and he's returning the favor by turning me on to Meccapixel. Photoblogging, like, uh, wordblogging, is really beginning to realize the power of the internet. Not only is the internet the place you really can find just about anything, but linkblogs are becoming word-of-mouth v2.0, filtering the best out of this incredibly vast infoscape.

When I started this post I really didn't mean for there to be quite so much e-jargon.

Anyhoo, isn't this just the New Yorkiest?

Mr. Picassohead

I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.

Yahoo! News - Dean Calls FCC Probe of Breast Incident 'Silly'

Obviously Howard Dean is far too unstable to be president. Doen't he know we have to Think Of The Children?!?

Hey, how about those Super Bowl commercials?

Bud Lite: Ha! Ha! That preppie got bit in the testicles! That'll teach him for dressing well and having an attractive dog! Faggot.

Van Helsing: Looks like Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein given the LXG treatment. (I just realized - Dracula, the Wolfman, and Frankenstein [Frankenstein's monster, actually] are all Universal monsters. Way to crap on the legacy, guys.)

H&R Block: Are we really still making jokes about Willie Nelson's tax problems? Wasn't that twelve years ago?

Levitra: Baseball is like a pathetic, floppy, flaccid penis. Football is like the magnificent iron bar that is a monstrous erection.

The Budweiser ad with the donkey was cute.

Pepsi: People have been talking about the big iTunes song giveaway for months. Highly underwhelming commercial.

Bud Lite: Horse farts + candles = comedy gold. Tell me again why CBS won't show the MoveOn.org commercial?

Pepsi: Anything with Biz Markie gets my vote.

IBM/Linux: Muhammed Ali tells a ten-year-old Marshall Mathers to go open source. I think.

Halftime: What is Kid Rock wearing? It looks like he just took an American flag, cut a hole in the middle and wore it like a poncho!

The NFL 'Tomorrow' ad was cute, too.

Bud Lite: Is there a rule that all Super Bowls have to have chimp commercials nowadays? And this one has suggestions of bestiality! Tell me again why CBS won't show the MoveOn.org commercial?

Mastercard: Homer Simpson. Well, it was better than last week's episode.

ShardsO'Glass Freeze Pops: This doesn't seem like a very useful product. Oh, wait - it's an anti-smoking ad. I sure hope it doesn't advocate not smoking...

Chrysler: Okay, the guy is already stopped when he says "Wow." So we should hear it immediately. The sound isn't a mile back trying to catch up. You all noticed this right away too, didn't you?

And then it was over. New England beat Carolina, 32-29. Which, I guess, foretells a Kerry victory over Edwards. Or something like that.