New Product Review

At the ad agency where MRJEFF works, we were recently dropped off a large supply of herbal beverages from the Carpe Diem beverage consortium, with the suggestion that we avail ourselves of the opportunity to sample the three products Kombucha, Gingkgo, and Kefir.

Kefir, with its fermented elderberry juice base, resembled most closely a cherry or raspberry Tootsie Pop™ (in beverage form). Most of my staff agreed, this was the least nauseating most palatable of the Carpe Diem drinks. It was very thick - the official MRJEFF suggestion is to use this as either a cough syrup, or to drizzle over pancakes. 4/10.

Ginkgo: most of MRJEFF's employees and associates decreed this to be vile and undrinkable. What do they know, these kids these days, with their Britney Spears and their tongue piercings? This one vaguely resembles a somewhat earthy sarsaparilla. Plus, it make MRJEFF mind work...uh...gooder.... 7/10.

Kombucha: I am sure that, in the proper combination, a beverage comprised of Hibiscus Bloom, Rose Hips, Blackberry Leaf, European Elder Bloom, Pepperming Leaf, and Lemon Balm Leave could be non-sucky. But in this combination, it basically tastes like a blackberry candy stick and a mouthful of toothpaste. Plus, it's got Lactobacillus casei ("Culture in LLV agar medium followed by ELISA using monoclonal antibodies specific for LCS was able to detect the organism in faeces. Using this method, we studied the faecal recovery of LCS in individuals who drank 125 ml of fermented milk which contained 10(10) live LCS for 3 days. The mean recovery was about 10(7) live bacteria per gram of faeces, indicating that LCS survived transit through the gastrointestinal tract after ingestion of the fermented milk." WTF?) Nevertheless, 2/10