Yahoo! News - Bicyclists Accuse DJs of Inciting Attacks

Every so often we like to do another "Clear Channel Sucks" post, and, obligingly, Clear Channel helps us out by doing something particularly idiotic. Clear Channel DJs in Cleveland, Houston and Raleigh (if that's where they really were) encouraged drivers to intimidate, and even assualt bicyclists. The three stations have apologized, and Clear Channel has donated $10,000 and air time to promote bicycle safely.

A sampling of the spam "names" in my email inbox right now:

• Hartquist Langlands
  
• Rothbart Rodeen
  
• Alden Livingston
  
• Liza H. White
  
• Larochelle Asbury
  
• Charlyn Chang
  
• Stefanie Summers
  
• Rosario C. Wilkerson
  
• Stram Hoots
  
• Layla Fox
  
• Chima Bendlage
  
• Maryanne Bravo
  
• Irwin H. Aguilar
  
• Essie Fitzgerald
  
• Luis Sutton
  
• Thaddeus Dodge
  
• Lenore Kemp
  
• Lydia Cantu
  
• Litvin Michelman
  
• Mark Xiong
  
• Melisa Beal
  
• Sue Mock
  
• Terrance Terich
  

The Davis Enterprise 10/29/03

"Nancy Servis watched the demolition of the Pence Gallery this morning with the mixed emotions that often come at the end of one stage of life and the beginning of a new one."

There Is No There There, Part XXVIII

mrjeff3000`s Fotolog

Fotolog

CNN.com - Solar burst could scramble phones, power lines - Oct. 24, 2003

Freaky Sky Friday: Not only is the local atmosphere looking like another planet, what with the smoke from the San Bernadino fires to the east and the fog coming off the ocean, but now we hear that a giant magnetic storm ejected from the sun is about to hit the earth.

Everything is orange, and there's a faint smell of smoke.

I shoulda stood in bed.

Guardian Unlimited Books | By genre | Behind the masks

Philip Pullman, in The Guardian, on Maus.

Shut UP!

If you have access to Apple's iTunes Music Store, you can purchase -- or at the very least, preview -- Bill O'Reilly's Those Who Trespass... (read by the author!)

"..did not want to be recognized. The man staring at Costello wanted complete anonymity. The ferry from Woods Hole on Cape Cod had carried this observer to Vineyard Haven just three hours prior. He checked into a small bed-and-breakfast house a few yards away from the ferry terminal, and soon after, took a cab to the media center located in an elementary school just outside of Edgartown. Telling the cabbie to wait, the man circled the media center while staying close to the wall. He wanted no one to see him.

Then he was handed his first stroke of luck. On the door outside the center, a posted sign told of that evening's party in Edgartown. Knowing how Rod Costello operated away from home, he suspected Costello would be there. He was about to do something he had never done before. It had taken him more than a year to decide to act, but now he was determined and apprehensive. The man in the shadows watched patiently as Costello began speaking to a well-built brunette. Though much too far away to hear the conversation, he sensed what was going on.

"Let's get out of here. I have some really good weed back at the hotel."

"Ron, you know I don't smoke. Beside, what would your wife say?"

"We're separated."

"Oh, bullshit, Ron."

"She's in D.C., and I'm here. That's separated, Suzanne."

The young woman silently sighed, her brown eyes darting to the floor. She wanted no part of the disagreeable Ron Costello. Her friends at GNN had warned her about the lecherous correspondent..."

CNN.com - Dude, where's my endorsement? - Oct. 19, 2003

Shibby!

The recent trip up to Bellevue and the Seattle area reminds me, in conjunction with one of the staff favorites on the Apple iTunes Music Store, of the last time my family went up to Washington, when my aunt and uncle and cousins were brand new to Bellevue in 1986. The main things I remember about that trip were an image - the sky, overcast, as we passed through Tacoma near the end of our journey north toward Lake Washington, past 255th (or some other incredibly high number) Street; and listening to Suzanne Vega's eponymously titled debut album on my cassette player.

Every so often, as I realize that the music of my youth is turning twenty, or twenty-five, it reminds me that I'm not just a grown-up. I'm those people who, when I was younger, were remembering the "summer of love", and Woodstock, and disco. That was my senior year in high school, the year that Sgt. Pepper came out on CD 20 years after its original release. Now I'm the one reminiscing about Suzanne Vega and Stop Making Sense and Men at Work (Business as Usual was voted top album of 1982-1983 by my seventh grade class).

I think I'm starting to get it now...

Time-lapse photography is really cool. And kind of creepy.

iCrack

Well, it's the talk of the blogosphere, so I figure I might as well get on board. The much-anticipated iTunes for Windows is out, and it's pretty darn good. One of my favorite things about the program is the crossfade feature, which fades out on one song as the next fades in -- it makes me feel like a classy big shot radio station!

And, of course, there's the famous iTunes Music Store, now open to a much, much wider customer base. And there's some good deals to be had there, too. $9.99 for Los Lobos' Just Another Band from East L.A. (41 songs!) $9.99 for Elvis: 30 #1 Hits (31 songs!) $6.93 for Miles Davis's Bitches Brew (7 tracks, originally on two albums!)

And - here's what I can't wait for - in the early months of next year, Pepsi will be giving away 100,000,000 iTunes songs! (Send your winning Pepsi bottle caps to: MRJEFF3000, c/o mrjeff3000.blogspot.com, kids!)

mrjeff

DO NOT DILUTE THE MRJEFF3000 BRAND.

You have been warned.

Our most recent Plastic.com QuickLink:

States' Rights Screws Democrats
Not only did Al Gore lose the presidency to George W. Bush despite Gore receiving half a million more votes, the Senate's representation is even more lopsided.

Thanks, TAPPED's Matthew Yglesias!

Happy Halloween, y'all.

STRIKE!

Well, the supermarket workers are on strike down here in Southern California, home of the MRJEFF3000 organization. We thought about unpacking our megaphone and black armband (oh, the memories, of Seattle and the WTO, and before that, occupying the dean's office in '69. And, of course, that unpleasantness in Haymarket Square. So don't you question our credentials, Mr. Establishment!), but instead settled for shopping at Trader Joe's. The People! United! and all that. (All kidding aside, I'm going to have to look around for my grocery shopping in the short term. Official MRJEFF3000 policy is: don't cross the picket line.)

I dunno. I like the proletariat, sure, but my cultural values are solidly with the bourgeoisie. Anyway. To make up for the guilt I downloaded several versions of the Internationale.

So come brothers and sisters
For the struggle carries on
The internationale
Unites the world in song
So comrades come rally
For this is the time and place
The international ideal
Unites the human race

Can I get that in Esperanto?

Point and shoot

On a lighter -- and sexier -- note, New York Magazine's website notes that Spike Lee, Mike Figgis, Neil LaBute, and Kevin Smith will direct photo shoots for Playboy's 50th anniversary issue.

"But it’s not the first time that directors have taken the bunny dollar. For the January ’78 issue, Federico Fellini, Michelangelo Antonioni, and Louis Malle directed shoots that 'illustrated what they thought was erotic,' says a company mouthpiece, who adds that Hugh Hefner wasn’t involved with the project: 'He only deals with the Playmates.'"

CA Secretary of State - Vote2003 - Map - - Shall Gray Davis be recalled?

As of this posting, both Yolo and Los Angeles counties are at 51% pro-recall, says the map.

I'll have a much better time of accepting the recall if only these two can swing back across the 50% sane line again...

UPDATE -- Okay, that's better.

Silver linings

Okay, so let's look at the bright side:

• Gray Davis, California's version of Al Gore (only without the people skills) is finally out of politics. Forever, if we're lucky.
  
• Whatever his faults (and many they are) Ahnold is a pro-choice, pro-gay rights, socially liberal Republican-in-name-only.
  
• Just as with the 2000 national election, there is now a very angry, very committed, very vocal bunch of people who will make absofuckinglutely certain that we elect a Democratic governor at the next election.
  

You know who I'm really disappointed by? Larry Flynt. What happened to him? All through the Clinton impeachment days, Flynt was popping up with Fun Facts about the hypocritical Republicans. And then he announces his candidacy and then he falls off the face of the earth. Why didn't he uncover all these women who Arnold groped months ago?

KHAAAAAAAANNN!

The Philadelphia Inquirer corrects an error:

In Sunday's Arts & Entertainment section, an article about the film Kill Bill erroneously referred to Ricardo Montalban's character in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan as a Klingon. Khan was an evil human bent on universal domination, though he does quote a Klingon proverb.

which, of course leads to this exchange:

From FRANK AHRENS: I suppose a generous reader would allow the spirit of the Philadelphia Inquirer's correction re Ricardo Montalban's role as Khan Noonien Singh in "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan," and would appreciate, as doubtless would Mr. Montalban, clearing up the fact that he played a human rather than a Klingon, a mistake that is an insult to both species. But the letter of the law would insist on clarifying that Khan, while indeed human, could hardly have been labeled "an evil human bent on universal domination." Rather, he was a product of his times, a superhuman who was bred to be smarter, stronger and more aggressive during the Eugenics Wars of the 1990s. And universal domination? I think not. Rather, Khan is propelled by the entirely sympathetic motivation of avenging his wife's death after he and his people were marooned on a planet that proved barely habitable by Capt. James T. Kirk, who failed to check on their progress, leaving them victim to sandstorms and nasty little creatures that deposit their larvae in victims's ears and wind themselves around the brain stem, bringing madness and a yearning for the sweet relief death would bring.

* * *

From FRANK HAYES: Subject: Frank Ahrens' letter. I was shocked -- shocked! -- to see Frank Ahrens' obvious distortion of history in criticizing that Philadelphia Inquirer correction. As a little research with Google easily turns up, Khan Noonien Singh is hardly just "a product of his times" who's merely avenging his wife's death, as Ahrens suggests. The guy started World War III, for petesake! This is clearly another example of a Beltway insider attempting to bury the sordid past of one of his neofascist heroes. Or maybe it's a typical media liberal making apologies for a notorious terrorist. It's so hard to keep these things straight these days.

All via the ever-informative Romanesko at Poynter.org...

Fanatical Apathy: Transcript of Call to Bob Novak, 7/13/03

The ever-intrepid Adam Felber has actually obtained a transcript of the infamous Robert Novak/senior administration official phone call of 7/13. They give out Pulitzers for this kind of work, don't they?

New York Daily News - Home - Rush Limbaugh in pill probe

No, honestly. Pity is what I have for Mr. Limbaugh. Nothing but pity for his addiction to illegal drugs.

It's sad, really. Here's hoping he avoids prison time. I mean, "clandestine handoffs in a Denny's parking lot"? But that's just my bleeding heart. If only I were conservative. Then I could just say that he got what he deserved.

Women Say Schwarzenegger Groped, Humiliated Them

"Did he rape me? No," said one woman, who described a 1980 encounter in which she said Schwarzenegger grabbed her breast. "Did he humiliate me? You bet he did.""

Our next governor.

DRUDGE REPORT 2003®

This evening's drudgereport.com:

"BLITZ ON RUSH LIMBAUGH TO INTENSIFY ON THURSDAY WITH CHARGES OF DRUG ABUSE...

AFTER DAY OF INTENSE MEDIA BASHING ON LIMBAUGH SPORTS QUOTES /// NATIONAL ENQUIRER TO ALLEGE IN BOMBSHELL REPORT: 'RUSH LIMBAUGH IN DRUG RING'... HOUSEKEEPER WORE WIRE IN SET-UP, SUPPLIED PAIN PILLS TO DEAF TALKSHOW HOST... ENQUIRER ALLEGES ABUSE OF TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PILLS...

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS SET TO SPLASH PAGE ONE THURSDAY, NEWSROOM SOURCES TELL DRUDGE. "

Plus, the big fat idiot has resigned from ESPN in the wake of his people-are-only-saying-good-things-about-Donovan-McNabb-because-he's-a-Negro comments of the other day.

Eschaton

All the political bloggers are posting, posting, posting about the Plame Affair, but my god! thatAtrios is on fire! (Too many links to link individually)

Welcome to the MrJeff 2000 Experience

What the hell?!?!?

I am this close to calling the whole MRJEFF3000 thing off!

Sack! Pillage! Peacekeep!

"Captain Byambaa Chinzorig is, perhaps not surprisingly, a little touchy about 1258 and all that. When Mongolian forces last came to Iraq, led by the great warrior Prince Hulagu, grandson of Genghis Khan, they sacked Baghdad, killed an estimated 800,000 people, brought to a bloody end the Abbasid caliphate and destroyed a vast array of ornate public buildings and a sophisticated irrigation system. Today, 745 years later, their plans are much more modest. "

trials; tribulations.

Plastic is down again. Damn it all! Damn it all to hell! Don't toy with me like this, Steadman!

ICv2 News - Fantagraphics To Reprint The Complete Peanuts

Word comes, via MetaFilter, that Fantagraphics will be reprinting the entire 50-year run of Peanuts, in 25 volumes. While, sadly, the strips from the eighties and nineties weren't very good, in the early days this comic was pretty darn groundbreaking.

Welcome on Emmanuelle.net

Une amie francophone makes the interesting observation that, in her opinion, "Arnold Schwarzenegger has an accent much less pronounced than today." Her suggestion for the reason? Ah-nold isn't smoking pot any more.

Margaret Cho BLOG

Margaret Cho -- the BLOG. Hooray!

Speaking of Korean chicks, where's your blog, Sueann? Or are you too busy winning fabulous vacations and posing in wedding photos - is that it? Seriously, dude - I've got plenty of vacation time. Take me with you.

Flip Flop Flyin'

A recent MeFi posting tripped a switch in my brain, reminding me of minipops.

I had forgotten what they were called, so I had been aimlessly looking for the site for probably two years (when I remembered to look, of course). Hooray!


Now, off to the museum with you!

Plastic.com has been offline for the past few days. (Don't worry -- it's up now!) Some were scared, but I wasn't worried -- we've been through worse before.

briankiel dot blog: Old-fashioned lock-in at Chiat/Day

It looks like I'm not the only blogstar who survived Thursday. The line at the cafeteria was hell, I tells ya!

Two more Chiat-based blogifiers: Krisr.com and Star-la.com. More as I find 'em.

PS - Ex-temp Mary no longer seems to be blogging at the Payne Pages blogspot site. These days all the Kool Kids have their own domain names.

Shut up! Shut up!

In the vein of last Friday's "Talk Like A Pirate Day," Atrios has brought us "Talk Like Bill O'Reilly Day". Has he ever. The thing is, while we can all talk like pirates until the cows come home, nobody, it seems, can stand to imitate O'Reilly for more than an hour or two.

Fanatical Apathy: Dem Debate Snubs Felber

Missed the Democratic presidential debate t'other day? Don't worry -- Adam Felber breaks it down for you.

703-519-6456

Once again, FOX News shows that they are the classiest fucking news network around.

UPDATE - Okay, they've gone and changed the phone number to one that will get you to CNN. But earlier, they had posted Tucker Carlson's home phone number.

How many Rashomons does it take to change a light bulb?

Hey, Langdon -- lay off the keilbasa, will ya?

Eric Alterman: Altercation#030923

Charlie Pierce doesn't just write great little messages to Eric Alterman's Altercation, this week he's a-fillin' in.

B0000C88HW.01.MZZZZZZZ.jpg 150x150 pixels

'Bout damn time.

Fame! I'm gonna live forever!

Being famous does have some advantages, points out Heather Havrilevsky in her article on the Emmys in Salon.

Like when you break up with your fiancé and they make about 15 or 20 cruel jokes about it on the Emmys. Or when your sudden death is teased repeatedly on national TV. That's what it's all about, you know?

Emmyblog!

What has MRJEFF3000 learned from the 2003 Emmys?

1. That Seven of Nine chick is pretty hot, and she's got a nice big rack.

2. That Alicia Silverstone chick is pretty hot, and she's got a nice small rack.

That said, ON TO 2004!

Nobody Died When Clinton Lied

Recently somebody has been posting mysterious signs along the freeways of Southern California, attacking Bush and his cronies' war.

(My favorite? "Dear America / Thanks for all the money / sorry about your kids. / -Halliburton Oil")

Allah Is In The House

You know blogging has hit the big time when the One True God signs up: Allah Is In The House

Global Rich List

I'm the 214,596,101 richest person on earth! Discover how rich you are! >>

Jessica Lynch Agrees to $1M Book Deal

America's Hero™ Jessica Lynch has, it seems, gotten herself a $1,000,000 book deal. For what? She doesn't remember what happened to her or her unit in Iraq.

I, for one, would like to see a little money headed toward the staff of that hospital in Nassiriya, who protected Private Lynch.

But they're not bestseller material, I guess.

Transblawg: Where IKEA gets the names

Where does IKEA come up with all those product names?

smooch!

There's one thing that hasn't really been pointed out much in all the Britney/Christina/Madonna lesbo smoochathon at the recent MTV awards thingy. Britney is 21. Christina is 22. Madonna is 45.

Heck, if a middle-aged woman can make out with two hot young chicks on national television, there's hope for me after all!

The Accursed Quayle Statue

Former Veep Dan Quayle's life-sized marble bust is about to be dedicated in the US Capitol -- but at what cost? Two of the artists commissioned to produce the sculpture died while working on it. As Paul Harvey might put it, "No...known...connection..."

ABOUT UNDERARM STENCH AND RACIAL EQUALITY (from adage.com)

Good news about American society, as demonstrated through advertising: we are now comfortable with African-Americans to be the butt of the joke.

Not in the old, racist, ha-ha-black-people-are-so-dumb kind of way, but in the new, improved, these-are-some-people-who-just-happen-to-be-black way. Hooray for us!

oops

I don't suppose any of you out there in Blogistan have any idea what I did with my automobile registration sticker, now do you?

ephemera

It was a rather overcast and October-ish Labor Day today. Perfect weather for enjoying the autumnal Norwegian dreamy folkpop of Ephemera. (Download Gift / Saddest Day / Hey (Nanana) ReFraîched chillmix now! You'll be glad you did!)

Eschaton

Wolf Blitzer's Question of the day, 9/1/03: How would you rate President Bush's efforts to fight unemployment?

Good - 2% (336 votes)
Fair - 1% (125 votes)
Poor - 97% - (16486 votes)

(as of this posting)

There's a corpse that's got really big tits!

It looks like Ah-nold has decided not to attend the California recall candidates' debate this week.

Which is a real shame, because if the commentary track on the Conan the Barbarian DVD is any indication, it would've been pretty fucking hilarious:

John Milius: You're totally innocent here. ... You've never had any kind of fight with anybody. ... All you can rely on is animal reaction.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Oh yeah, that's right. I remember now. That guy was biting me seriously, huh? ... Then I break his arm.

JM: There's nothing, nothing slick about that fight. It's just ...

AS: ... just the pounding him in the head and then breaking his head.

This kind of exchange is common in the Conan commentary; every time Milius attempts to elevate the discussion with comments like "Conan is an intellectual ... a man of deep philosophies," Schwarzenegger pounds it back down again, giving away Conan's ending 10 minutes into the film and repeatedly stating the obvious, as in, "Now we are running," and "Now he's putting [the sword] in the snow." The two leer at every female who comes onscreen, including a limbless, gutted torso about which Schwarzenegger cries, "There's a corpse that's got really big tits!" At one point, the star boasts to his director, "I was getting laid a lot in this movie. It was amazing. ... Remember, she was, like, totally sweating and oiled up, huh?" then adds: "It was a great scene, actually, because it was done really tastefully." Just as Milius' high-minded references predictably zoom over Schwarzenegger's head, Schwarzenegger's sometimes surreally naive line of questioning (he doesn't appear to know what a mill does, what grain is for, or where it comes from, nor does he remember that there was a sequel to Conan and that he starred in it) accidentally draws the viewer into closer scrutiny of the plot's most gaping holes.

Cronkite's views on running for President, and on how we might open up the selection process

Draft Cronkite?!?

Arianna Huffington for Governor!

Arianna's commercial:

Being the diehard Fox News fanatic that I am, I was ecstatic when I saw that there was a new book about the network. I mean, there was a picture of Bill O'Reilly on the cover, and the words "fair and balanced", and everything! So I bought it, and started reading.

But this new book from Fox News only had bad things to say about Sean Hannity, and Ann Coulter, and Bill O'Reilly, and Fox News itself!

Why would Fox News put out a book like that?

Paper Beats Rock (but watch out for the scissors!)

The following comes from the cached version of a Yahoo search for a joint MIT/University of Chicago study mentioned in Al Franken's recent book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them.

Sendhil Mullainathan of MIT and Marianne Bertrand of the University of Chicago conducted a study between July 2001 and May 2002 in which they responded to 1,250 job advertisements in Boston and Chicago. They sent four applications in response to each job ad; two applications contained "black-sounding names" (derived statistically from birth records, the names included "Tamika," "Tyrone," etc.) and two applications contained "white-sounding names" (Amy, John, etc.). One each was of "high quality" (lots of qualifications) and were equivalent; the others were of average quality (fewer qualifications) and were equivalent. The names and resume contents were randomly matched up in such a way that black-sounding names appeared above resume contents that for other job applications white-sounding names were attached to (and vice versa). The black-sounding and white-sounding resumes were thus not just equivalent---they were identical

Through the study, Drs. Mullainathan and Bertrand were told by many professionals, "Oh yes, you'll see discrimination all right---reverse discrimination!" However, this is not what they found

They found that one of ten white-sounding job applicants received a callback for an interview, while only one of fifteen black-sounding job applicants did. This indicates decisively that some discrimination is going on based on the perceived race (through name) of the job applicants

Further, they found that those high-quality resumes with white-sounding names are 30% more likely to receive a callback than their average-quality counterparts. However, high-quality resumes with black-sounding names are not more likely to receive a callback than their counterparts. (There is apparently a very minute improvement for high-quality resumes with black-sounding names, but it is too small an improvement to derive reliable conclusions

This is absolutely significant. At a time when many claim that we have achieved racial equity, a time when many are arguing against affirmative action based on the fatuous presumption that it has fulfilled its mission, this study sweeps away their arguments completely. According to the authors of the study, you can pretty much pick a week of the study, and the long-term trends show themselves; thus, the date was not a factor. You can pretty much pick a business size too---from small businesses to large firms with HR staff, all sizes of business show this same dispicable racism in the application process

For more on this study, you can read the New York Times piece by Alan Krueger over on J Bradford DeLong's blog, or you can listen to the Tavis Smiley show segment [RealAudio] (which includes an interview with Dr. Bertrand) or the hour-long Connection interview with Dr. Mullainathan.



When the study is published, I will post my further thoughts on this topic, and point to any online resource that publishes it.

Hey, you remember way back in '99, when everybody was worrying about what we were going to call the first decade of the twenty-first century? Well, it's still going on. Some idiot Australians proposed calling it the (ugh) Noughties. Other morons suggest the Hundreds, the Oughts, the Oughtas, or the Nulls.

If you must call this decade something, just call it the Zeros and be done with it.

Makes ya wish that the fucking computers had all blown up with the Y2K whatchamathingy.

You Will Feel No Pain

On a recent trip to the mountains, one of our operatives was introduced, at the Lakeshore Resort at Plumas County's Bucks Lake, to a most remarkable beverage. It was a most pleasing summer drink, cold and refreshing, tasting of peach, orange and pineapple. And most of all, powerful. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the Treesmacker:

• 1 pint Peach Schnapps
  
• 1 pint Apple Schnapps
  
• 1 pint Rum
  
• 1/2 cup Pineapple juice
  
• 1/2 cup Orange juice
  
• 1/2 cup Sour mix
  
• Grenadine
  
• 1 splash 151 proof rum

Mixing instructions:
Add liquors, then add juices. Color red with grenadine. Float the 151. Serve in large Mason Jar for authenticity.

Upon reflection, the amounts listed are probably for 4 or 5 servings.

Fiesta La Ballona 2003

We are in the middle of Fiesta La Ballona, and although I haven't taken the time to go to downtown Culver City, tomorrow night, at the very least, I'm planning to go see Hot Club of Cowtown down at the City Hall.

The money never stops

From : maryam abacha
Subject : please help me and my Family
Date : Thu, 07 Aug 2003 12:10:47 +0100

ATTN;
PLS REPLY TO MY PRAVATE BOX maryambbbb@mailsurf.com
I am Hajia Maryam Abacha, widow of the Late Gen. Sani Abacha former Nigerian
Military Head of State who died as a result of cardiac arrest.

The name of you company appeared in one of our directories as one of the
companies my late husband wanted to do business withen before he died.
I therefore decided to contact you in confidence so that I can be able to move
out the sum of US$35,760,000.00 ( Thirty Five Million Seven hundred and Sixty
Thousand U. S. Dollars ) which was secretly
defaced and seal in big metal box for security reasons in your account.

I personally therefore appeal to you for your urgent assistance to move this
money into your country where I believe it will be safe since I cannot leave the
country due to the restriction of movement imposed on
me and members of my family by the Nigerian government.

You can contact me through, or my family lawyer . Upon the receipt of your
acceptance to assist me, my lawyer shall arrange with you for a face to face
meeting outside Nigeria in order to liaise with him towards the effective
completion of this transaction.

However, arrangement has been put in place to move this money out of the country
in batches in a secret vault through a diplomatic security company to any of the
European country as soon as you indicate your
interest. I also want you to be assured that all necessary arrangement for the
hitch-free of thistransaction has been concluded.

Conclusively, I have decided to offer you 25% of the total sum 5% will be for
whatever expenses that will be incurred, while 70% is to be used in buying share
in your company subsequent to our free movement by the Nigerian government.

Please reply urgently and treat with absolute confidentiality and sincerity.
PLS REPLY TO MY PRAVATE BOX maryambbbb@mailsurf.com
Best regards,

HAJIA Maryam.

ABACHAc/o Ba

muteblog

Radosh.net

Way back in March 1992, the late, lamented Spy magazine ran an expose on Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was even then widely expected to run for governor sooner or later. There were the by now well-documented allegations of infidelity ("It's just a couple of plo-jobs...", but one of the more interesting finds was a photo of the young bodybuilder, flexing, and fully nude. I can't locate my own copy of the issue just yet, but these days everything of interest can be found on somebody's blog.

Daily Kos: California Supremes expected to rule on recall

Daily Kos has a very compelling post questioning whether or not there will even be a replacement election in the recall race. It all comes down to two little words: if appropriate.

*** UPDATE ***
The California Supreme Court has declined to hear several challenges to the recall election. 500 candidates it is!

Revolve

Are you a teenage girl who wants to keep up with the word of God, but doesn't want to look like a total loser? Now there's Revolve, a version of the New Testament in fashion magazine format. Girls agree: it's totally cool.

Bellisimo!

Fagen: You've worked with many directors, each who must present a different set of problems for the composer. I have a list here. What was it like working for Bertolucci?

Morricone: Bellisimo!

Fagen: Pontecorvo?

Morricone: He is my old friend, bellisimo!

Fagen: John Boorman?

Morricone: Bellisimo!

Fagen: Terence Malick?

Morricone: A man with bad luck but bello, bellisimo!

Fagen: Roman Polanski?

Morricone: Bellisimo!

Fagen: Brian De Palma?

Morricone: Bellisimo!

Fagen: Leone?

Morricone: Bellisimo!

(Donald Fagen interviews Ennio Morricone.)

MRJEFF update:

Senator Orrin Hatch has introduced a constitutional amendment which would allow foreign-born American citizens to hold the office of President, calling the current restriction against foreign-born candidates "an anachronism that is decidedly un-American."

In a statement Hatch gave to introduce his legislation, which is titled the Equal Opportunity to Govern Amendment, he said many foreign-born citizens of all parties are loyal Americans who should have a legal opportunity to be considered for president.

"These include former secretaries of state Henry Kissinger and Madeleine Albright; current Cabinet members Secretary of Labor Elaine L. Chao and Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Mel Martinez; as well as Jennifer Granholm, the governor of Michigan and bright young star of the Democratic Party," he said.

Also, he noted that thousands of foreign-born members of the military now never could be elected to lead the country for which they fought. "No matter how great their sacrifice, leadership or love for this country, they remain ineligible to be a candidate for president. This amendment would remove this unfounded inequity," he said.

(Hatch has always been, for me, one of the more uncategorizable politicians. He's a Republican and devout Mormon, but a friend of Teddy Kennedy. He'll support commonsense stuff like the above, and then turn around and try to blow up your computer.)

The Prior-Art-O-Matic

mrjeff3000 is a false moustache that can light cigarettes, won't make a hole in your wallet and makes virtually no noise whatsoever.

National Prayer Day

California gubernatorial candidate and Hustler publisher Larry Flynt hits the politics/pornography/prayer trifecta with his latest project, a national day of prayer -- for the death of Bill O'Reilly

The Austin Chronicle Politics: Naked City

Meanwhile, just outside Texas Governor Rick Perry's house... (via Atrios)

Pretty cool, eh?

You're Newfoundland. You're not a complex person,
but it's not because you're not intelligent;
you just perfer the simpler things in life. You
can work hard and bear harder misfortunes than
most. It's too bad people underestimate you
because you're one tough S.O.B. when need be.


What Canadian Province Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Those Wacky Canadians, part XXXVI...

Catch!

Newsday.com - It Could Be a Long, Quirky Ballot

I can't decide if this is really, really cool, or if we in California are soooo fucking fucked.

Our good friends at Rashomon reference a recent Gallup poll that suggests a popular backlash against gay rights. I must say that I don't find that poll particularly credible in the long run -- at the very least, the acceptance situation has never been better for homosexuals in North America, and I suspect, even with temporary regional setbacks, things will only get better.

Seven of the nine Democratic presidential candidates recently spoke in a Human Rights Campaign forum. Three said they support same-sex marriage. (All nine answered a questionnaire [.pdf] from the HRC.) The right to marry (or at the very least its legal equivalent) is a very real possibility, within the very near future.

I notice two things from the poll: One - "[T]he level of support for legal homosexual relations has dropped 10-12 points in a period of just two months." This indicates to me that these are the people whose support was weak at best, and who probably shouldn't have been counted upon too strongly in earlier polls. Two - "The same basic patterns exist in both samples: (1) young Americans are more tolerant than older Americans..." I, for one, believe that children are our future. Today's youth has grown up with the idea (by and large) that you don't discriminate against gays, and they're going to stick to that notion.

David Brooks, every liberals' favorite conservative pundit, recently had this to say, on PBS's Newshour:

By almost two to one, people under 30 approve of it and say homosexuality is an acceptable lifestyle. I see it in my own conservative insular world like many conservatives and people in the Bush White House, when I wake up in the morning, I log on to Andrew Sullivan.Com, a gay conservative web logger writing from Provincetown. All these Republicans, their first human contact in the morning is with a gay Catholic. That's just typical of the way the whole issue is changing. So there is another saying that intellectual history moves forward in a hearse. And I think there will be a gradual move as this young generation goes through the age groups of a greater and greater acceptance of gay marriage.

Now, I'm not fooling myself -- things ain't perfect. But we've come a hell of a long way. And the complaints of a few medievalist zealots isn't going to turn the momentum around.

America is ready.

TERROR AT THE BEACH

Ah, summer -- there's no better time to, ah, hang out at the beach.

Don't be hatin', y'all.

Place yer bets!

Almost alone among generally lefty media outlets, TAPPED isn't coming out with a knee-jerk anti attitude toward DARPA's now-cancelled FutureMAP program. As TAPPED points out, "Though the terrorism futures market sounds grotesque -- and the notion of betting for or against future terrorist attacks is undeniably macabre in conception -- it's simply a tool." (At Eschaton, too.)

The question we need to be asking is not "Is this unseemly?" but rather, "Does it work?"

UPDATE: Here's how newsfutures.com is looking at this story. (They're a site that does much the same thing, only without getting yelled at by the Senate.)

Friendster - Glenda

Glenda is the first person I've come across who I'm linked to though two completely different pathways (Kelli -> Daniel -> Kimberly ->Glenda and Tom -> Tulip/Joan -> Beer -> Glenda) And, as she lives in Brooklyn, I think that makes her the anti-MRJEFF.

We must never meet.

Cha-ching!

From: THE DESK OF MRS. COMFORT OKOCHA
The Board of Eco International
Bank with head office in Lagos,
Nigeria.
Date: 26th/July/2003

President Ceo,

Permit me to introduce myself. I am Mrs.Comfort Okocha, a member
of The Board of Eco International Bank with head office in
Lagos, Nigeria.
I am the executive director in charge of Accounts and
Managements Department of the bank.

The Board of directors have mandated me to contact the next of
kin to our late client Mr. Ramash Hoh, may his soul rest in
peace. Mr. Hoh died in a ghastly auto accident on his way from
vacation along with members of his family, on the 21st of April
last 2002 year, and all efforts to contact his immediate family
members have been in vain,Mr. Hoh is a Malaysian citizen and the
Managing Director of Deep Blue Sea Services, his company was
involved in Oil exploration and drilling in Nigeria.

The late Mr. Hoh had both current and saving accounts with us,
estimated at, US $41,500,000 ($41.5Million) and I happen to be
his account manager when we received the unfortunate information
about his death and of his family members, we contacted his
country embassy to assist us to locate members of his family
back home in Malaysia, so that they can come forward to claim
his funds, but unfortunately after three months, the embassy
informed us that all efforts to trace his immediate family was
unsuccessful.

It was at this point that we decided to notify the Nigerian
authorities in line with laid down regulations. The authorities
then instructed our bank to place the fund in a special account
until the relatives of Mr. Hoh are found, which we did, but the
events of the last two weeks made the Board of our bank to hold
an emergency meeting to decide on what step to take.

The Federal Government of Nigeria wrote to us giving us till the
end of August this year 2003 to locate the relatives of the late
Mr. Hoh and release the funds to them or the money will be used
to assist the rebel forces in both Ivory Coast and Sierra Leone.

Our bank was not happy about this development because we felt
the money should be used to support charity organizations and
improve the poor health care system among other decaying social
infrastructures here. I then decided to act very fast to
intercept the government from their inhumane intentions. It was
at this point that I was mandated to contact you with the hope
that you will understand the urgency of this situation and
assist us prevent the government from achieving their selfish
intentions.

I have made arrangements that your acceptance to cooperate with
us, I shall present you as the next of kin to the late Mr. Hoh.
So that the money will be released to you. Your nationality does
not matter as we have arranged provisions,as you could be an
uncle from his mothers side which equally makes you the next of
kin.I shall provide you with the vital informations about the
late Mr. Hoh as contained in our file. I have decided that 20%
of the money will go to Charity homes while the rest will be
shared between you and us.Some of the benefiting charity homes
will be nominated by you in your country while I shall nominate
the rest from my country.

Also my share will be invested for me for a period of two years
by you in any profit making venture you may decide and you will
be absolutely free to use your share in whatever you decide.

Sir, should you be interested to assist in this matter kindly
send to me your private Telephone and fax numbers for safe
communications. I however, want to assure you that your
in your ability to effectively handle this matter successfully.
Do not hesitate to contact me should you need additional
information or any clarifications so that we do not waste
anytime.

I thank you very much while I look forward to your anticipated
prompt response.

Best regards.
Mrs.Comfort Okocha

A couple of new twists on this old favorite. It's good to see the scammers keeping up with current events.

MRJEFF3000, your one-stop gateway for all things MRJEFF, has finally given in to the hype and has dispatched an agent to investigate the behemoth of hipness known as Friendster. Which almost certainly means that it is no longer hip in the least.

Elderly Man Crashes Into Farmer's Market (washingtonpost.com)

I'm surprised it took this long: a 79-year-old man has crashed his car into a northern Florida farmers' market.

And thus is born the hot new trend of the summer.

"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!"
"So there you are!"
Get your war on!

CNN.com - Flip-flops gaining office popularity - Jul. 22, 2003

So much the better for MRJEFF3000. Those almost-bare feet, those daintily-painted toenails...

Anti-gay motive believed in Fairfax man's death
The Associated Press
Last Updated 6:20 p.m. PDT Thursday, July 17, 2003
QUINCY, Calif. (AP) - A Fairfax man beaten to death here last weekend may have been killed because his alleged assailants thought he was gay, authorities told a Marin County newspaper.

During a two-day court hearing in this small Northern California town, two Plumas County men were charged with the beating and strangulation death of Marc Oldham. The Marin County resident was killed Sunday while vacationing at Bucks Lake, about 150 miles north of Sacramento.

Kevin Glen Rikard, 21, of Quincy pleaded innocent Thursday to the charges. Rikard and Johnathan Grant Appley, 21, also of Quincy, are accused of clubbing Oldham with a tree limb and strangling him because they allegedly thought he was gay. Appley didn't enter a plea.

A third defendant, 21-year-old Jesse William Rath of Cromberg, pleaded innocent to an accessory to murder charge.

While Oldham's family and friends say he was heterosexual, Plumas County Deputy District Attorney David Hollister said prosecutors have reason to believe the trio thought Oldham, 37, was gay, the Marin Independent Journal reported Thursday. Hollister wouldn't provide evidence to support that claim.

Appley and Rickard are also accused of robbery, a special circumstance charge that could carry the death penalty if tied to a murder conviction. Rath faces up to three years in prison if convicted.

It's unclear if Oldham knew his assailants before he was killed, but witnesses told authorities the group was seen together at a local bar that night, Hollister said.

Appley and Rikard were being held Thursday without bail in the Plumas County jail. Rath's bail was set at $50,000. All three men are set to appear back in court Aug. 13, when Appley is expected to enter a plea.

You are in a twisty maze of passages, all alike.

>You are in a debris room filled with stuff washed in from the surface. A low wide passage
>with cobbles becomes plugged with mud and debris here, but an awkward canyon leads upward and west.
>
>A note on the wall says, "Magic word XYZZY."

Another Canadian who hates us.

Ali Ismail Abbas, the 12-year-old Iraqi whose arms were blown off and whose family was killed in the Coalition bombing of Baghdad, is on his way to Canada, possibly to be adopted by Falath Hafuth, an Ontario doctor.

On finally watching Minority Report:

Ya know what? Spielberg, and Cruise, and god knows how many other people involved with the making of this film, are just waaaaay too humanistic (and really, this applies to most Hollywood actors, writers and directors) to make a good, believable science fiction movie. The whole thing feels as though they came up with the plot twists and the ending first, and then with the rest of the story, and only then did they add just enough of a veneer of science and technology to make the effects look really cool...I mean -- cops with jetpacks? What's up with that???

Okay, I understand that nearly all directors, and nearly all writers, and every single actor has a worldview that is basically hostile to scientific thinking. Or, I suppose, legalistic thinking. I mean, this movie completely ignores the idea that there are lawyers in America, and millions of Americans who really do worry about innocent until proven guilty. Or all those personally targeted billboards -- whatever happened to opt out? Or, why hasn't the Defense Department taken control of the precogs? One might suggest that they'd be better put to use guarding the entire country against attack, than just guarding DC against random murders. (And, if after six murder-free years, anyone in DC still considered killing as a possible course of action...)

Or (to be heretical) one might suggest that it is worth it to commit one single murder in order to prevent hundreds.

CNN.com - Tenet admits error in approving Bush speech - Jul. 12, 2003

Harry Truman: "The buck stops here."
George W. Bush: "Hey, don't blame me, man..."

CIA Director George Tenet has accepted the blame for that Iraq-buying-uranium-from-Niger line in Bush's State of the Union speech. So: Tenet takes the blame because he's the boss...but what abouthis boss?

Of course, the full analysis can be found at TPM.

c o r k d o l l . c o m

Blast from the past! Corkdoll: Philosopher

Mp3 Madness

I'm downloading mp3s like crazy tonight -- and it's all legal, thanks to epitonic.com. It's madness!

Who the FUCK is Mister Jeff?

I don't find this amusing in the least.

In Which Elyse Calls Her Lawyer And Asks, "How Much Is A Restraining Order Again?"

And so we kick off Stalkwatch 2003 with an interview (from Steppin' Out magazine ("NY & NJ's #1 Entertainment Magazine!") with our current obsession, Elyse Sewell. Choice excerpts:

Does the winner automatically reach supermodel status?

I think that to attain true "supermodel" status, a girl must be more recognizable to the public than the vice president of the United States. Dick Cheney's last fashion spread in Marie Claire magazine occurred over two years ago, and his Revlon contract was terminated in the mid-'80s, so I think that the winner will fit the "supermodel" definition immediately.

...

When did you first start to realize you had what it takes to model?

At the age of 16, I was perusing the silk slipper selection in the open-air markets of Bangkok when an orange was thrown from a second-story window and struck me on the back of the head. As I tenderly caressed the contusion, it began to throb rhythmically. I whipped out my Morse Code decoder ring and deciphered this message: "Elyse, you have what it takes to model." I raced up a narrow staircase into the room from whence the orange had flown, but found only the remains of a Dionysian feast and six jet-black hairs plucked from the bonny head of the princess. As our ship was to leave port in five minutes, I was forced to abandon my sleuthing and race up the gangplank, for otherwise how could I gain passage back to Cape Hatteras? The source of the message remains a mystery to this day.

So, obviously, you can see why I blog so.

UPN

Okay, I'll admit it -- I watched most of last night's episodes of America's Next Top Model (the recap and the finale). Why? Because earlier that day I saw a clip of final candidate Elyse in the confessional bitch-booth ripping into the other next-top-model wannabes and I fell in love.

And then I watched and she turned out to be an out-of-the-closet atheist.

And then -- I shit you not -- she correctly used the word "hypothesis" where an ordinary moron would've said "theory".

It could happen, right?



Do I have time to add this excerpt?

When discussing who should win AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL, Adrianne remarked, "I think I deserve it because I came a really long way since I came here. I just try to do my best every time we do anything." Shannon explained, "When you give something like your best, you just give your all, you feel like you should be rewarded." Elyse differed completely in her assessment of the competition, saying, "I don't think that it's acceptable to say that anyone deserves to win this competition. It's really not a basic human right to get a modeling contract."

I think I need to do laundry tonight.

Note to MRJEFF3000 aficionados: The MRJEFF3000 Weblog Experience^TM is not just a link-oriented blog. From time to time we will branch out into the microjournal category as well, in order to bring you, the MRJEFF3000 customer, the very finest in Internet Lifestyle Enhancement^TM. We at MRJEFF3000 realize that you have your choice of literally hundreds of websites when you "surf" the Internet -- thank you so very much for inviting MRJEFF3000 into your home or workplace.

One of the MRJEFF3000 staffers was googling around today, and he came across an entertaining new blog from a fresh new voice. This young lady's writing style, it turns out, is quite clever, and we predict big things in her future. (***1/2!)

Of course, if fame and fortune pass her by, she can always continue at her data entry job, even if everyone there is "comatose or mentally retarded."

Although we at MRJEFF3000 have long been aware of the NPR news quiz show Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me, we have only just recently been made aware of Adam Felber's Fanatical Apathy. A sample:

Review of Less-Publicized Rulings from the Supreme Court’s 2002-2003 Term

Baird vs. Texas – Ruling overturned the conviction of a Laredo man in a robbery wherein the prosecution’s case consisted solely of the facts that "he was black, and he was nearby."
Vote: 8-1
From the dissenting opinion (Clarence Thomas): "The man clearly looked guilty. This ruling opens the door for more and more "uppity" behavior from negroes everywhere. As Frederick Douglas might have written, black people don’t need your charity, they need a little discipline."

Kradick vs. Texas: Ruling overturned a murder conviction against a Tomball man who opted not to sleep with his girlfriend, thus failing to impregnate her.
Vote: 6-3
From the dissenting opinion (William Rehnquist): "Have we come to place so little value on human life that we can deafen ourselves to the cries of an infant whose right to be conceived was so grossly violated? Shame, shame…"

Turling vs. Black People: Ruling found a new Texas law making black people illegal to be unconstitutional.
Vote: 8-1
From the dissenting opinion (Thomas): "Nowhere in the Constitution does it say that it’s "okay" to be black. This is affirmative action at its most dangerous. Honestly, I don’t know what the other guys were thinking on this one."

What're you waiting for? Go on, check it out.

Bring It On!

URGENT CORRECTION ALERT!
We at MRJEFF3000 are very sorry to report that there seems to be no Discovery Channel documentary titled Seven Minutes to Impact. (We were relying upon Mr. Renkin's curriculum vitae in this matter.) There does seem to be a Three Minutes to Impact, which may be at best tangentially related. If this is the sort of reliability we can expect from "Dan Renkin" -- if such a person truly does exist -- then MRJEFF3000 cannot in good conscience recommend his little Civil War puppet show.

Good day to you, sir.

I said, Good day!

Some people at MRJEFF3000 have pointed out that Mr. Renkin's printable resume does indeed have the correct title. Those people have been fired.

As usually brain-damaging as the FARK forums usually are, sometimes they will take an irritating grain of sand and create a beautiful pearl. Like when "RagingLeonard" compared Anne Coulter to Yeenoghu, Demon Prince of Gnolls.

Longtime friend of the MRJEFF3000 organization Dan Renkin (dot com!) writes, with information:

Last Weekend!

- Friday, July 4th at 7:00 pm in Washington Square Park (by the dog-run)
- Saturday, July 5th at 5:00 pm in Central Park, at the Lawn Below the Dairy
(around 65th Street).

After two weekends of torrential downpours and iffy-looking cloud cover, we
seem to be in the clear--this past weekend saw wonderful audiences and
fine-tuning of the piece:

A modern history play: The American Revolution! In verse, mingling low
comedy and high brows, lots of props and far too many wool jackets!

More information available at Inverse Theater

Note: "Last Weekend!" does not refer to the Saturday and Sunday that just passed. Rather, it tells us that this upcoming weekend will be the final -- last, if you will -- opportunity to view Mr. Renkin treading the proverbial boards in this particular theatrical work. We at MRJEFF3000 are confident that Mr. Renkin brings the same joie de vivre to, well, whatever the hell it is that he's doing in this play that he did to his groundbreaking work as "Doomed Man with Coffee" in the Discovery Channel's Seven Minutes to Impact. ****1/2